Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Magic

I believe in Magic.

Not the parlor trick kind of magic but real Magic.

The kind of magic that shapes Reality. Causes Reality to open doorways before your very eyes.

Its there whether we see it or not. Whether we choose to believe or not.

We are Creators.

The world is in sync with our minds, our intentions, our wishes, our dreams, our fears.

Creation can go many different ways. It is infinite in potential.

If we live in a world where we don't believe in magic, that same magic will manifest in front of us in such a way to confirm such a belief. Our world will appear more random, more 'fact' based, more sterile. If we believe in our powerlessness, the world will reflect that.

However, if we live in sync with the world, knowing that we are inseparable from the world, it will be like engaging with it in a beautiful dance.

Everything we tell ourselves consciously and unconsciously will reflect in some way in front of our very eyes.

At one point, as a young child, I knew this. Then at some point, as I grew older, I allowed someone to convince me otherwise. The repercussions from this were vast. I became a victim of the outside world. I felt powerless. I built a web of self destruction around myself. The world began to reflect my belief in a disconnected world.

Years later, after I had struggled and wrestled with myself, I must have finally gotten tired. One morning I decided that I was tired of the struggle and I realized somehow that I was creating my own darkness. I was hiding from my own light, afraid of its brilliance. I was creating my own lack of power, of ability.

When I first realized this, (or was it remembering?), my first feeling was complete and utter awe. Awe at the vastness and potential. I screamed in joy at the 'discovery'.

Yet...

The longer I sat with this 'discovery' the more something else, something other than joy, began to fill my mind...

What did I feel?

Fear. Perhaps it was actually more like terror...

Fear of responsibility. Fear of the innate power of my word and my thought. Fear of actually inhabiting the driver's seat. Fear of my own limitlessness. Fear of space, free and unrestrained in any way possible.

The more I explored and sat with this 'discovery' of this realm of magic, the realm I had forgotten, the more I saw the fears of my conscious and unconscious mind reflect outside of me.

I was existing simultaneously in awe and fear. 

It was like I was learning how to drive. Simultaneously liberating and terrifying. 

Then came my driver's test.

A short time after my 'discovery', a person who I will call the 'witch' came into my life. A manifestation and reflection of my deepest insecurity testing me, to see whether or not I really did believe. Testing me to see whether or not I could actually pull off living from that highest place. Testing me to see whether I actually knew how to drive.

The 'spell cast', obstacles arose. My belief wavered. Doubts began to creep into my mind. Life began to reflect that doubt.

It intensified. Everything crumbled. Everything. I fell long and hard. Was it all real? Was magic really true or had I just deluded myself all along?

Dazed and depressed, I lay there at the bottom of the pit for some time. No wait, I was still falling...

I continued to fall, if that was possible.

Then. At the lowest point I looked up. To the highest point I could see. I held my gaze there.

And I remembered.

Who I was. I remembered that Magic was real.

I remembered that it was not the witch who put me there. I remembered that it was me.

It was me all along who had placed these obstacles in my path. Reflections of past choices finally coming to fruition.

I bowed my head in deep gratitude. I realized I was already filled with abundance beyond measure. 

I wrote something on a piece of paper and filled it with my intention. Breathed life into it.

Then I burned the paper. And forgot about it.

A month later, a light opened up in the sky and from that light a brilliant Goddess appeared.

And shattered the walls of the pit in which I stood.

She picked me up and carried me high at incredible speed up into the expanse above me.

Acceleration of Light.

An unending Orgasm of Fire, burning through the spine of the Tree of Life.

A waterfall of Nectar over the Cosmic Mountain.

I stand here now in space. No ground. No ceiling. No walls.

Calm.

Yet...

My mind even now tries to contract in the old ways, to bring back the comfort of that dark hole.

Yes, it can be unnerving in space.

But in space you can see the doorways of lightning opening in the clouds.

A demonstration of the infinite power of Mind and its Light.

Will I forget again? A cloud passes by in the sky.

As I smile in complete awe and wonder, the glorious rainbow that appears shows me colors the like of which I have never before seen...

.........


On this eve of Navaratri 2014, I offer immense thanks to my Guru, fractal in nature and inhabiting the heart of all beings, who are also in reality my teachers and mothers.

I especially offer thanks to the Glorious Goddess, who manifests as Divine Mother, Lover, Witch and far more.

Born from the altar of the Fire of Light, Her form glows with the brilliance of a thousand rising Suns.

The tears in my eyes flow with such joy at her Sight.