Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Footprints of Birds in the Sky

I sit constantly with the nature of Samsara. In awe. The wheel of revolving forms and names. The shapes that arise from the ocean and dissolve back into it. I am fascinated by the forms, the patterns, the appearance. Why dissolve forever when I am continually created anew moment after moment after moment...

Yet the teachings of many of the ancient wisdom traditions often appear to condemn samsara. They seem to tell us something which apparently contradicts the movements of creation, existence, and destruction which endlessly cycle in blinding displays of brilliant light.

Gaudapada, the teacher of Shankaracarya's teacher, says in the Mandukya Karika, "Neither the mind nor the objects perceived by the mind are ever born. To see their birth is like seeing the footprints of birds in the sky." (verse 4.28)

Nagarjuna, the famous Buddhist philosopher says similar things. Vedanta is riddled with this apparent mystery of why in truth, creation, existence, and destruction are void of actual truth.

What are these ancient teachings attempting to say and why do their teachings go against all experience and appearance of what seems to be so true before our very eyes and through our very skin?

The sages say it is due to confusion. What we ascribe to be permanent, in other words a "thing" such as a thought or form as being real, discrete, solid, is actually not permanent. Nagarjuna goes so far as to say that these "things" have never actually come into being nor are they ever destroyed.

What is form? What is name? When we discover what these things truly are, do the forms remain or do they disappear?

Om Prajnana Brahma. Consciousness is Brahman. Om aham Brahmasmi. I am Brahman.

I am Consciousness.

So what? To me, this only indicates a beginning. This is not the end of practice. This is the starting point. The bindu. Now it is time for the yantra to explode...

If you understand the nature of wave as water, does it cease to present itself as wave? No. It doesn't. Does this somehow destroy our innate sense of beauty if it can somehow not be permanent or abiding? No.

The implication that seems to come, at least the feelings that I received from many of these traditions  for many years was that the world itself, because of its impermanence was thus tainted or imbued somehow with suffering.

I don't buy it anymore. Whether "I" appear for some time and then cease, or whether "I" do not experience myself as "I" and only declare my oneness with the ocean doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

The ocean is the ocean, and the wave appears as the wave. Choosing sides with language is the real bondage.

In utter disregard to self limiting language which appears to me as if from some distant sage like the footprints of birds in the sky, I cast it all off and, with every cell of my being, I smile at Her, who is "as brilliant as a 1000 rising suns" (Lalitha Sahasranama 6).

As the Heart Sutra says, emptiness is form, form is emptiness. In fact form "arises" from emptiness, it "dissolves" back into emptiness. Emptiness only being that potential from which all is possible.

Brahman. Ever expanding.

Tantra. Expansion.

Interesting this word expansion. It implies the meaning of the mantra Hrim, which is the bija sound of creation. Creation is ever expanding. But if nothing is ever created, what is expanding? Is the dance of the waves on the ocean becoming like a symphony? I for one, know it is not still. At least not all of it. The eye of the hurricane is different from its arms.

What is this divine pulse throb of that which they call Brahman? Is it just an illusion? An effect? A dream? A by-product? Inert? All of these words are used to describe her veil, the cloak that apparently covers and binds us.

But we ARE Her. She is Us. The ocean is one. Can the ocean appreciate its own beauty? Can it create? Can it bring forth a symphony for its countless children to hear? Why do we refuse to listen to that symphony and instead dissolve ourselves so deeply that we cannot hear any longer?

I find that the source of a lot of the difficulty in the old traditions is embedded in the fundamental reliance on a noun based language. Quantum mechanics ripped apart traditional notions of particles when they encountered wave/particle duality. I think ultimately the same thing is required here is one is to truly understand creation, existence, and dissolution. From an ultimate noun based perspective, discrete entities cannot be found to exist according to Chandrakirti and many others. We all know we are "supposed" to ultimately live without ego, and many have declared, "the ego has never actually been."

Of course it hasn't! At least not as a "discrete entity"! So what? Does it matter? Truly?

When we throw out the noun based attachment in our languaging, then we are "becomings", "dissolvings", and in fact truthfully, even these words become hard for defining us as verbs as well because no matter how we slice it, language always attempts to limit and define our experience.

The trap I fell into for many years was to despair, to contract in on myself, to negate, to dismiss, to fall into the trap of the blank state. An empty blackboard with nothing to draw on it.

I laughed one time when I read a story of Jean Klein's in which he was in a symphony concert. A monk came to visit him and sent an attendant in to get him. Jean came out of the symphony and asked why the monk didn't just come in and enjoy the symphony. The monk responded that he avoided distractions like that. Jean was puzzled by this and felt sad for the man and his inability to see and understand the fullness of what he was. Jean asked the monk, "what is there to be distracted from?"

Although the footprints of the birds in the sky are sometimes so wispy, ethereal and transparent, are they any less beautiful? Although they will not be here tomorrow, yet they are born again in the sky of mind as a memory. That memory is another footprint which gives rise to another. The dance or symphony of the ocean continues to play.

Why do we insist on making the requirement of non-suffering being something permanent and lasting? The ocean that we are has already fulfilled that requirement. We are infinite beings. And the world is perfect just as it is.

The scriptures simultaneously piss me off with their language and yet make me laugh as I witness their truths. There is indeed a very strange paradox at hand. I love to throw them far across the room and then go outside to smell the air.

Some days I definitely prefer the storms. The contraction of even my preferences becomes expansion. I think white robes on me would fast become muddy. Maybe black suits this footprint more...

Most days I choose to leap from the waves and witness their undulating dance. I often choose to surf on their forms, in oneness with their expansion.

As "I" do that, footprints smile in the sky in the radiance of the morning sun.




Saturday, June 15, 2013

The Concentrated Mind Field, Creation and Completion Stage, and Mudra

I wanted to discuss today the role of mudra in the act of concentrating the mind.

For many years I labored unsuccessfully at concentrating the mind other than just briefly. It was only when I started to get "underneath" the breath and discovering the power of mudra that mind started to fall into line.

The Bhagavad Gita says "The mind is restless and as difficult to control as the wind." As I've mentioned previously, this is a double edged statement. On one hand, its saying the mind is extremely difficult to control. On the other side of the blade, this statement is saying that the mind is as easy to control as the wind...  The pranic wind.

The Hathapradipika quotes a great line from Yoga Vasistha "To control the mind, control the wind, to control the wind, control the mind."

We can access the point of control through either. But the most important point is to understand what is beneath each. In this place where the two are one, there is a singular substance. The basis of Consciousness itself. From this place arises what is called in yoga, Buddhi. Buddhi is alert choiceless awareness of "I", as well as the tipping point for its movement which is the Will.

The light or awareness aspect should be merged with its movement in our attention. This is accessed through mudra. Details on the mudra are found elsewhere in this blog.

Mudra is like a large moon which drives the tide of force, magnetic in nature, that moves the sea of prana. The driftwood of the body and gross mind are led by this sea.

Prana is felt. Why do we say this? Because the wind element is said in Samkhya theory to connect with what we call Sparsa. Sparsa is not easily definable in English. It is like "inner touch". Imagine for a moment the feeling you have on your skin. Imagine that everything within you 'touches' in the same way. You can call it the nerve endings through the body but this isn't enough as this is just a concept. It has to be an immediate direct felt experience of one's entirety, including mind, body, breath, feeling, and sensation.

Now, that sparsha or direct sensory feeling has to be moved. We move this through the tidal practice of the tantric breathing technique given a few writings ago in the pranayama posts. This tidal breathing practice should be one with the mudra work, engaging the mudra at each point of polarity shift. If one stays with this practice long enough, we encounter directly the phenomena called samadhi, where it appears as if there is only one thing, not two. In other words, we are one with the movement or sparshic field.

Pranayama like this can be done anywhere, not just in the seated position. At least the basic techniques of shifting and holding polarities. We can do it literally at almost any moment, explaining why in the texts like Hathapradipika they say to do so many rounds in one day. We can do far more than they suggest...

Working with the field this way regularly will lead to a oneness with it. 

At this point, when we are one with the field, it can be directed. The will and the movement are not two. At this point we can construct any number of possible internal constructions which will have a direct, although perhaps grossly unobservable effect on reality. There is a lot to say at this point. At this point we are accessing what the Tibetans call Creation Stage. This is not mere imagination or visualization. This is felt imagination or what I like to call srsti or creation.

There is a very common misconception that meditation involves something solid or stable. But stability arises out of movement. This is discussed very clearly in the Yoga Sutras by Patanjali when he discusses the notion of parinama or transformation of state. Parinama involves movement. It is a gradient shift. For example, when you hold a cup in your hand and hold the cup still, is your hand moving or is it still?

Answer: it is not still. Examine this until you understand. Its directly relevant to the understanding of mudra and parinama. Even just catching wind of that movement and becoming one with it will guide you into the practice of mudra.

Back to creation. Many suggestions are given in the texts, from deity work, to points of light, to cakras and adhara meditations, the elements, to internal yantras, to kundali arousal. All of these are possible and these are only a small number of the possibilities. The more one works with these techniques, the more that open up. The doorways become infinite in number.

In the beginning, if the mudra is not strong, the forms will not hold. The important point to remember is to strengthen the mudra, have a union of clarity and feeling, and then to direct the movement from that union. The images or forms will sharpen in clarity as the magnetic force of mudra increases. They can become quite sharp in definition. It is like "inner focus" or "inner clarifying" at this stage, in the same way that we focused or clarified the eyes externally in shambhavi. The difference here with creation stage however is that, unlike the first stage of shambhavi, where we were letting go of form, here we are actually creating and sustaining form, but it is done with the union of clarity and feeling/sparsha. This is akin to unifying the subjective, instrumental and objective states that Patanjali discusses, in a singular act.

What is the result of this? Change. As Crowley defines magic, "magic is the act of causing change to occur in conformity with will". We may not be moving say, a physical object with our mind, but once you sit with what you are moving, you will realize that moving the sea is far more important than moving a single piece of driftwood. This is creating effects on the deep level of conditioning, of vasana. It takes a lot in a consensus reality as strong as the one we are living in to affect things directly. Most of our work will alter things here over time. This work will cause negatively conditioned processes to halt and turn around, shifting the driftwood over time. Of course, there are those times that we do experience direct, fast results. We notice the effects immediately in our bodies and minds. And we may be changing more than our limited minds can comprehend. I have been witness to some interesting things...

It is helpful to note that at the end of the practice, we can dissolve all forms into innate clarity. All forms arise from that fundamental clarity. We emphasize the clear light aspect of the mudra. This is Completion Stage. The dissolution of form and the resting in the basis.

From the perspective of what we call Sat, Cit, Ananda, or Reality/Being, Consciousness, and Bliss, the mudra can be emphasized from any of these perspectives, as they are all one. When we emphasize the Bliss and Consciousness aspects, in conjunction with Nama Rupa or name and form, we can access the creation stage. When we emphasize the Consciousness and Sat aspects we just rest in the basis.

To understand this, play with the two beginning aspects of Shambhavi mudra, the sight and then the feeling aspect.  Learn to emphasize one or the other. Learn to unite the two. Learn to combine them with inner forms. Shape and move the forms. Dissolve the forms and rest in basis.

Create. Sustain. Dissolve.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Some Thoughts on the State of the World and My selves

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I “accidentally” hit the video on youtube today for the National’s “half awake in a fake empire" (the version with Ryan Lewis). My girls ended up watching it and then one of them asked, “What was that about?” I didn’t really know how to answer a 7 year old that question. I just cried instead.

Since coming “back to civilization” from New Mexico (yes New Mexico feels like being on a distant mountaintop) and moving to Seattle, we have been brought back into the fray of 'in your face' samsara. Or perhaps it was just me in New Mexico, hiding on the mountaintop so skillfully that I refused to even see the samsara there. I admit full responsibility for hiding. And of course it isn’t easy, even for a modern day person who lives like a king compared to 90 percent of the world, raising 2 children, having a family with 2 working parents, dealing with your shit, your relationship, modern living, school lunch, do this, do that. It’s why we left “civilization” in the first place. To get the fuck out. To escape and heal. 

Fine. Did that. Escaped. Healed. Became whole. Fine and good. I had that luxury. Maybe it was my karma, maybe just sheer random draw. It was a raft like Shankaracarya tells us in the Vivekacudamani, a raft that gave us brief reprieve from the storm. We took advantage of it. 

I see many unable to take ahold of the raft. For many there may not even be a raft. Or they may be unable to see it. 

            Some recent events:
Nicole takes the bus to work everyday downtown. Sees a white man enraged getting on the bus with his kid. Nearly beats him telling him to sit down. The kid gets excited about something outside the window. The guy nearly kills him. The kid looks up and just asks if he can give him a hug. The man doesn’t respond.

I meet a very loyal old student “randomly” here and it turns out she is facing losing her job at Boeing, the state’s largest employer. Turns out they are eliminating options for telecommuters, the folks that work out of home. All fine and good except for the folks like my friend who are single mothers and have a young child at home. Why are they doing this? To outsource the jobs overseas.  If she quits, she loses her retirement and benefits she has accumulated over the last 15 years. How’s that for loyalty?

We are facing having to pay 3000 dollars for our youngest to enter kindergarten next year and that’s public school. Hmmm. I was under the impression that public school came out of our tax dollars. But Oh, I forgot, Washington State doesn’t have income tax. Never mind that some of the richest people in the country are here, lets help them get richer. Fuck the schools. And hey, those large corporations probably need the tax breaks anyway…

I basically lost one of my best friends a few weeks back who got involved in a “spiritual” pyramid scheme. Who can blame her really? We’re all struggling. Who wouldn’t want to make 40,000 dollars by only giving 5 K into an “abundance circle.” Never mind that the math doesn’t add up (does 8 = 1?) and that you’re asking the universe to give you 40 back for 5. The “dessert” comes from basically fucking over 8 people. But its “spiritual” and a “women’s circle” so somehow it comes out all right. Anyone ever hear of the law of conservation of energy?

But then again corporate America is one big pyramid scheme isn’t it? And it’s all perfectly legal. I hear all this shit about how corporations like Walmart create jobs. And “Oh, they’re liberal or Oh, but they supported Obama…” Those are the funniest ones. Lets look for a minute at the first excuse. Jobs? Really? I had a friend here who recently traveled to Aberdeen, WA and said it was like a ghost town, except for the Walmart, McDonalds and Kentucky Fried Whatever…  If we consider that if Walmart wasn’t there, we would see in Aberdeen: clothiers, tool shops, car mechanics, local groceries, toy stores, book stores, music stores, appliance shops, and how many others? They would all be small businesses with people making far more money. And the economy would be local. Second excuse, don’t even get me started on Obama. What the fuck has he really done for us, for America? No, really…

The selling of false liberalism and spirituality is a real sham. People very easily can lose their discernment. Of course, if you look at the curriculums in today’s schools, teaching discernment is not on the agenda. In fact, the curriculums are not even original. Our oldest child has the same homework here that she had in New Mexico. Stock sheets of standardized paperwork that sometimes is hard for me to even follow. Utter trash. One of my friends here who homeschooled his kids last year said they completed the entire “curriculum” for the year in ¾ of the days and in only 3 hours a day. Hmmm…

But back to false liberalism. When we see only two choices on the menu, it limits our options. I see vanilla and chocolate but what if I want strawberry? What about the billion other flavors? It is far too easy to become conditioned by the news, the sources that tell us it’s this way or that. I find out a lot more personally by daily interactions with folks. Direct contact. Look at what’s going on around us. Really look. We don’t need the news to tell us that things are a bit out of balance.

Same with the false spiritualism. I see a lot of cutesy “spiritual wisdom” quotes on Facebook but not as many first hand accounts of personal investigations into what these things are saying (and many kudos to those of you who do this work and do say something). Buddha said this, Ramana said that, Krishna or Christ said…. What do you say? Are we so castrated energetically that we have lost our true voice? Have we lost the ability to reason, discern, practice, and move forward with our own power?

Of course so many are exhausted. Tired. Beat down. Kids. Work. The grind. The day in day out. Most barely have time for practice. I understand. I think. But really? If we don’t find the time for cultivation and practice in our lives now then when? I groan many days when I look at what’s on the schedule. This. That. This. Then that. But I have it easy compared to many. Good to remember that. How do we integrate cultivation and daily living? I know how I do it. I get up early. I practice in my sleep (no really…). I watch every moment between the movements and during. If all of us stopped blaming the outside for our lack of time to cultivate, let it get us down, and found a way we might find the ground shifting underneath us.

Its like some cosmic drama, some cosmic battle playing itself out. Do we see it? Is there a way to transform the obstacles into freedom, the shit into gold? Both Rama and Ravana are God. It’s an interesting play. Notice that neither are sitting on the sidelines. Neither of them are hiding out in their rooms. I admit, most of the time I would rather do that myself… But the screams taking place outside truly get to me. Or are those the screams inside my own heart? Time to pick up the sword… Fuck.

The outside is not different from the inside. The internal work is reflected in the outer work. The outer is in the inner. That was one thing that truly terrified me in New Mexico one day sitting on my porch. It’s why I decided to “come back”. Can I change anything? I can examine and refine my will. I can pay attention. I can speak up when I feel more like hiding in a hole. Even when people turn away from me or throw shit. I can recognize more and more my daily hypocrisies (yes, I like my Ipad...).

Life is dirty. Spiritual work is dirty. It ain’t clean. Or maybe the shit itself is truly gold waiting to be transformed. Perhaps there is more than one way to look at it. I do prefer black robes to white. I prefer Saturn to Venus most days. Even though he tends to beat the shit out of me. At least it keeps me awake.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Highest Action is in the Mind or the Deconstruction of Consensus Reality

This article serves 2 major purposes, to demonstrate the power of the individual mind as equivalent to and even far greater than mere physical action as well as to show that one of the major responsibilities of the true power of mind lies in deconstructing the shackles of consensus reality which serve to bind us into narrow constraints.

There is a tendency of many to consider action as something of the physical body. Thoughts themselves are commonly dismissed as being separate from the physical world we live in. When we consider though that all physical structures have started as ideas in the mind as well as considering that consensus entities like corporations, money, and property are all really objects held in the mind then we start to really take a look at the power of consciousness in terms of its manifest ability.

"I shall now declare to you the creation and its secret. For, it is only as long as one invests the perceived object with reality that bondage lasts; once that notion goes, with it goes bondage."

                                                                                                Yoga Vasistha 3.1

"By names and images are all powers awakened and re-awakened."

                                                                  Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn

These are only 2 quotes of many suggesting that the power of the mind, with its associated names and images/forms, has the capacity for true power and the potential for shifting what we perceive as the "external reality".

If the mind has such power, then why is it that we feel so helpless and fearful in the face of what seems to be an incredible weight of problems in our lives? I would say that it is due to our internal fragmentation. Many of us want to change and unify the world but we do not know how to unify and internally rewire ourselves. Part of the illusion lies in the fact that we consider ourselves one stream of consciousness, or one individual personality and not many. Do we ever notice the internal wars inside of ourselves? Even more interesting, do we notice that what we fight with on the outside, what we perceive as an external war is oftentimes a reflection of our own internal wars? Our tendency is to externalize ourselves and "put the responsibility on someone else". In this way we can avoid deep seated feelings of guilt and shame by having an external scapegoat to carry the load for us. This only gets compounded by external consensus.

As I've stated previously in my blog on the Internal Bodhisattva, I believe that only by truly healing and unifying all of the streams and identities within ourselves will we truly be able to release 100 percent of our inherent power, which is colossal. Most of us are only operating at a very low percentage of potential, precisely because we are internally conflicted with ourselves. The "spiritual" us beats up the "material" us or any other infinite number of possible internal conflicts. Acceptance is the key to truly starting down this road of healing. Acceptance and discernment. The taking of responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions.

When we start to have the condition of inner union within ourselves, what do we do with this immense release of energy? Do we just check out and hang on the mountain? Or do we utilize the new found recognitions by applying them with the power of generosity? What is true generosity and help? Is it agreeing with consensus reality or it is finding the courage to call bullshit? Facing the possibility of becoming an outcast among not only society but also religious and spiritual organizations? It takes true courage at this point to find and continually seek for authenticity in every situation. To have the courage to disagree, not only with what everyone disagrees with in our circle but also to have the courage to question the paradigms that even these circles close to us cling to.

As many times as I have cherished the Yoga Vasistha (I have studied it intensely for 20 years now), I have also thrown it across the room in utter disgust. I abhor Vasistha's tendency to dismiss nature and truly revile his tendency to cling to outmoded patriarchal paradigms. Nevertheless, he speaks truths, powerful truths which I cannot simultaneously dismiss. The more I disagree, sit with, chew it out for myself, the more the depth of it truly comes alive in me.

When a friend goes on about how great Obama is, I oftentimes play "devil's advocate" talking about the hypocrisy and bullshit that also goes on in his organization. Does that make me a Republican? No. It makes me a free thinker, and one that gives a shit about deconstructing these comfortable plateaus that even I want to hang out and sit on for some time.

But being comfortable never gets us very far.

I see a lot of cutesy pop-wisdom spiritualism on platforms like Facebook. These pop-quotes with the lovely pictures are like a two-edged sword. One one hand they may actually inspire and direct one's mind in a direction that brings more freedom. On the other hand, they may also inspire laziness and the tendency towards being submerged in certain spiritual beliefs that actually increase one's bondage in invisible threads of subtlety. Honestly I prefer reading original accounts of people's experiences, the ones that are pushing the envelope in the modern day.

Our minds are powerful. We barely recognize how powerful they are for both freeing us as well as ensnaring us. Waldo Viera, a Brazilian consciousness researcher who has been working decades in the fields of consciousness and the multidimensional nature of man/woman discusses these concepts that have been around since time immemorial, about how thought/feelings are actions that shape and define our world. Simple thoughts in our minds, what we dismiss perhaps as meaningless, actually build and shape vibratory mental bodies, which in turn act directly on the world.

Many traditions, both Western and Eastern acknowledge this but do we witness this directly? Do we truly see the causal relationships between our minds and this world? I think sometimes we ignore it because it can be truly terrifying. Why terrifying? Because we are scared at how powerful we actually are. Chogyam Trungpa once wrote an amazing article on the terror of space. It is terrifying to the mind that wants a comfortable structure to hang out in because in space there is nothing that constrains it. The ability of movement becomes unlimited.

"In this world whatever is gained is gained only by self effort... What is called fate or divine will is nothing other than the action or self-effort of the past. They indeed are fools who are satisfied with the fruits of their past effort, which they regard as divine will, and do not engage themselves in self-effort now."
                                                                                                          Yoga Vasistha 2.6

The more that we become used to living in the freedom of space, the depth of power that our true will and minds can unleash, the more that we will have to capacity to start to shape in positive ways and even shatter harmful consensus realities with authenticity and pure deep level intention.

I abhor traditions that dismiss the will. One student brought up the whole thing about how science has determined that action in the physical body has been proven to come before the thought of it (discussed in Blink by Malcolm Gladwell). This is easily explainable to me not as proof of the non existence of free will but rather that the true will lies prior to the body. The deep level decision making process which arises from what the yogis call the buddhi, is prior to the body. This gross shell is only one of our many layers. What causes us to consider that decisions are even formulated by the brain? The scientific paradigm? The modern scientific paradigm is not a paradigm of direct recognition but rather one of collected consensus viewpoints based upon axioms which themselves are thoughts.

Taking responsibility for our personal will frees us. To think for ourselves, to act for ourselves, to shape the world through the power of authentic expression, released from the shackles of conformity and comfort. It takes courage. Courage to actually express our individual nature which itself is the true divine expression and the ultimate fulfillment of our dharma.

What we think causes changes, whether we immediately see this or not. Thought is energy. The more that we recognize this, the more that we clue in to the changes that are occuring as a direct result of our minds. This gives us faith. Faith in the power of consciousness. This faith fuels the sharpening of our intentions, the examination of our motives. Breaks us out of our comfort. It forces us to examine the relationship between what we think and what we say. Between what we think and what we do. We begin to examine the deep threads that connect and shape the net that is relative reality. We begin to see our potential as divine creators.

What do we want to create?



Thursday, May 23, 2013

Pasa Mudra and the Liberation of Desire

I want to discuss today the role of desire in the path of yoga and tantra.

Traditionally, at least through patriarchal paradigms, desire is viewed as poisonous, which has led to many practices and modes of work which involve sublimation, suppression, or dismissal through viewing the world of phenomena as unreal.

With the liberating teachings of the tantra, desire itself is utilized as a powerful vehicle for movement and the creative force which can both liberate through the breaking of molded consensus as well as sculpt powerful shapes which aid, heal, nurture, and bring vast joy to the microcosmic and macrocosmic worlds.

The pasa is the noose. It is a weapon or instrument that is held in the hand of Lalitha Tripurasundari, a tantric representation of the primal Sakti, or power of God. In her upper right hand she holds the "noose of desire". A noose binds. Binding is a contractive power. What is contraction? Contraction can be seen as a force pull which unites or brings different streams together in a singularized way. This very power is needed to stabilize the currents of energy and mind which act to bring about the one pointed state in yoga we call ekagra.

Even Patanjali acknowledges in sutra 1.18 that the power of nirodha, the power that causes the mind to rest in its own basis, is dependent upon samskara, or a habituated contraction that acts to steady the mind energy currents.

Desire is no different. Desire is a feeling we have that draws us toward something, in effect "contracting" us towards a particular name/form appearance. How is desire felt? We feel a "pull". It is interesting to observe the inner pulls that desire creates in our life. Instead of observing the objects toward which we are pulled, can we study the feeling of the pull itself? When we observe this inner pull, we touch or unify ourselves with a certain magnetic power behind the pull. What is this inner magnetic force?

Bandha is no different. Bandha is that aspect of mudra which pulls. It gathers. It condenses. The same force which is felt at the heart of desire is felt also at the heart of bandha, a process central to the magnetic pull of mudra.

When we have a buildup in sex, prolonging the orgasm, we notice this buildup of magnetic force. The buildup involves a contraction, a gathering, a collecting of energy. Do we hurry to the outcome or can we notice the vibration in the pull/contraction/gathering itself? Can we allow it to build more? This is a conscious gathering of tension. Conscious tension through attention.

Something happens when we allow ourselves to become familiar with this conscious tension, this contractive state. We become friends with it and don't just seek to rid ourselves of it in favor of the outcome. It becomes stronger. The noose becomes tighter. We gain skill in utilizing that very noose. We can consciously engage with this power, this magnetism through what we can term Pasa Mudra.

Then, at the other side of contraction, there is a release of tension, what we think of in sex as the orgasm. There is a liberation of energy. Noticing what occurs at the exact timing of release is the secret of creation and magic. What do you discover here? Vijanabhairava Tantra tells us to observe this moment carefully. This leads us to the vast power of what is called Yoni Mudra. The other side of the noose.

There is much I'm saying here and much left unsaid. In some ways this path is secret, not because a student's worthiness must be questioned, but because it is highly individual and unique and prone to much misunderstanding.

When you truly investigate the nature of desire, you start to understand creation and destruction. Why destruction? Because everything has two sides. With the death of one thing comes the birth of another. Life is circular, and yet evolving.

Monday, May 13, 2013

The Vast Depth of Mudra and Bandha

I want to write a bit today about the inner dynamics of mudra.

Movement of the primal pulse of Sakti, which we call the Spanda can be discovered in the same way that we learn to catch a wave. This catching of the wave is what is called in the Hatha tradition, Ujjayi, which means to "to conquer or seize". We catch a hold of the movement itself, which is the pranayama, or the yama / control / restraint of the prana. The prana itself is non-different from the awareness that perceives it.

Following this movement back, we arrive at the magnetic force or the moon that creates the tide which pulls the sea of prana, wherein this movement is experienced. We notice perhaps here that the body and its gross breath is only like a piece of driftwood, being pulled back and forth by the deeper movement of the tide.

What is this tidal pull, this moon which draws the sea back and forth? The tidal pull is called in the Hatha and Raja yoga traditions bandha. Forget what you think of as bandha here, forget about squeezing your anus or pulling your abdomen in, or locking your chin or sticking your tongue here or there. Focusing on these things is akin to attempting to control the sea by moving a piece of driftwood. Does the driftwood move? Yes, of course it does, but it does so because of the underlying movement of the sea. What causes the sea to move? The tidal forces. So it is at this level that we need to work if we are to truly understand bandha, and bandha itself is only one aspect of this greater process called mudra.

How are we to understand mudra?

The texts speak of many mudras. Gherandha Samhita speaks of 25, Hathapradipika speaks of 10. Are there many mudras? No. Mudra is one. But the entry points are many. The manifest powers of mudra are many. This is why so many have been described. The texts would lead one to believe that mudra is about physical technique but they are describing something much deeper related to different aspects of the singular magnetic powerful force that is capable of driving the life energy and simultaneously the mind which is dependent on it. This process of mudra goes right back to one of the deepest levels of ourselves, the Iccha Sakti, that aspect of life energy that is concentrated around Will.

Why are there so many mudras described in the texts? Lets break down some of their unique entry points into the singular practice of mudra.

Maha mudra is the aspect of mudra which centralizes. This can be felt. Bandha is that aspect of mudra which constricts like a strong magnetic pull, culminating in mano bandha, the constriction of the mind, as described in Yoga Sutra 3.1.

The movement of mudra is felt like a central river pulling the peripheral rivers into it. When these pulls occur from specific nadis or rivers, we speak of them in individual ways such as Vajroli mudra pulling through the genital center.

When the constiction of bandha occurs, movement flow is sent in either the outer or inner direction. Yogis typically focus the direction inward and upward, in a process called laya, where the movement moves in a way we call nivritti. Most only know of the bandha which draws in and up, many do not know of the opposite, which is described very clearly in the tantras. When the movement is outward and downward it is called pavritti and leads to the process of creation and siddhi. Right handed methods emphasize nivritti whereas the tantric methods emphasize both the inner and outer movements as all part of one field. These two movement flows are intimately related to prana and apana, the magnetic polarities which drive the twin energetic wind movements.

In the process of movement flow, there is not only the constriction of bandha that sends the movement one way or another, but there is also the dissolving and expanding aspects. In each direction, something dissolves and something else expands. These terms are called nimesa and unmesa respectively.

Two major expansions in the nivritti direction are clarity/luminosity and space. When we emphasize the space aspect, which is unobstructed nature of our being, we call it Khecari mudra. This is far more than just sucking the tongue into the throat. When the mudra expands into the luminous nature of our being, we call it Shambhavi.

When the mudra expands in the pavritti direction, we give birth. This is the powerful Yoni mudra. The secret of siddhi and magic, and why this is utilized at the beginning of mantra (says Siva Samhita). There is much to say about this. More later...

When the mudra is drawn by the primal power of desire itself, then we have Pasa mudra. The noose is one of the sublime "weapons" of Lalitha Tripurasundari, the Great Goddess. This aspect is incredibly powerful at transformation of the ordinary into the sublime and utilized to a high degree of skill among serious Tantric practitioners. Much to say about this one as well.

We learn about these mudras by learning to follow movement. Movement is felt. It is sensed. We notice movement according to physics by a detection of acceleration, which is defined by a change in speed or a change in direction. Notice changes of direction when they occur. These are the windows described in Vijnana Bhairava tantra. Notice changes of speed. Then catch the wave of movement. You are non-different from it.

After "getting on the wave" at one of the various windows, follow the movement gradient. Follow the motion itself. It will guide you. The more you practice, the more you feel and the deeper it "takes you". Words become difficult but nevertheless we have to try.

Don't fall prey to the external descriptions. The "external" practices are a distraction. I am not referring here to what you consider inside or outside. This has nothing to do with the body. The external I am referring to here is considering "anything" outside of yourself.

Unless mudra and bandha are taken on this level, you might find yourself contorting your body in any number of ways and yet still being as far from the deeper understanding as you were when you started many years ago.

What is described here is closer than close.

Nearer than near.

She is radiant.


Friday, May 10, 2013

The Internal Bodhisattva and the Uniting of Diverse Streams

Almost 2 thousand years ago, the Mahayana branch of Buddhism brought forth the idea of the bodhisattva, a spiritual hero who forsook the liberation of total Nirvana for the world of Samsara, in order to liberate all sentient beings without exception. The bodhisattva embodies the ideal of compassion for all beings.

I believe very wholeheartedly that actual freedom of individual movement can really only come when diverse streams come together. The place to begin looking at these diverse movements does not lie outside of us however. It lies inside.

Within all of us are multiple streams of movement, what we call our different egos or personalities. We may think of ourselves as one, but are we? Do we not have multiple desires and impulses that we want to take in the course of even one day? Multiple voices speak within our heads, funneling our energies in sometimes completely apparently divergent directions.

Dominant voices appear in our internal worlds like inner kings or queens, their agendas enforced by internal guardians who keep things in line and keep the "troublemakers" or darker elements in the dungeons. However sometimes, those in the darker areas are freed and come up to wreak havoc, until the ruler can fight back and reassert authority within the inner kingdom. Sounds like a fairy tale perhaps but I have found this to be the case with not only myself but with everyone in this world I connect with. Most in the world are facing internal war. And we are acting out these internal wars on the external world space.

Roberto Assagioli, a wonderful yogi and psychologist from the early 1900's did much work and writing at the time to explain how these divergent streams come about and as well how the union of these divergent streams becomes possible in a sort of alchemical process through his basic principles of Psychosynthesis.

I feel that this work of internal alchemy, this Psychosynthesis, uniting the divergent streams is vital as a foundation for proper authentic spiritual development and forward evolution of the individual. One of the first problems we encounter with spiritual practice is that we don't often recognize the basic patterning of how our internal kingdom is set up before we come to sadhana. Oftentimes, when we first come to a spiritual tradition such as yoga, we attempt to subvert and suppress the darker elements of ourselves and beat them down with the "spiritual" king or queen who we then place on the throne. This is most oftentimes just replacing one "material" king or queen with a "spiritual" king or queen. A deadly problem occurs here. The "spiritual" king or queen within us attempts to shape the personality with all sorts of "spiritual" work while the rest of the kingdom is pushed down. The dominant face on the throne becomes the "spiritual" face, which is supported and held together by external world consensus view and even our fellow practitioners and "sangha". "Dispassion", "non-attachment", and many other terms get thrown back and forth as "virtues" that attempt to disassociate ourselves even further from our own internal energies and streams. Instead of uniting the diverse streams however, this right-handed, patriarchal paradigm backfires on itself, and actually causes us to become more internally divided. Assagioli terms this process as the "spiritual bypass". We use our practice to actually avoid the deeper work of understanding and uniting our various energies and instead act to increase the isolation within ourselves.

Chogyam Trungpa, a very paradigm breaking buddhist of the last century, talked about this problem as well. Its interesting that Assagioli was proposing it in the early 1900's though, well before the practice of yoga hit in full force here in the west. There is a lot I have to say here about how the patriarchal paradigm has enforced this deeper underlying spiritual sickness which has permeated almost every major tradition, Eastern or Western. I'll save that for another post.

The important thing to recognize here is that the work of uniting ourselves is not only the goal of yoga but also that of the bodhisattva. Working to heal the internal splits within ourselves, unifying our internal streams of energy, teaches us to learn to work together internally and to move together as one, united in the very definition of yoga. Relative freedom becomes possible. Each of us is a macrocosm within a microcosm. Learning to listen to the different voices, teaching the different voices to communicate authentically, and allowing the different voices to sit in one circle, on common ground, with no voices on the throne and none in the dungeon, gives us a very important thing. Power is liberated (which is what the right handed patriarchal traditions are deathly frightened of). Power liberates the will. This frees us in a way that is not often discussed in even the classical texts. And the deeper processes of yoga amazingly fall right into our lap. Samadhi becomes possible. True freedom of movement becomes possible.

But the most beautiful thing that occurs is that we then have compassion. By deep and abiding love and compassion for our inner selves, for all of them without exception, we then have true and deep compassion for the world outside of our skin.

In my opinion, then and only then do we have the capacity to listen, communicate, and give wholeheartedly to the world in a truly authentic way.