I wanted to write a little bit more about some important things to consider as one works with the practices of pranayama described in my previous blogs.
When one is working with the magnetic forces that we call prana and apana, it will be important to learn to discern, to inquire as to the driving impetus behind these forces.
The buddhi is the term given by classical Samkhya philosophy to describe the deepest level of our mind. For many years I labored under the assumption that this buddhi was the deep level "I", which of course it is. But it is also more than this. The Samkhya Karika and other texts tell us that the buddhi is not only "I" but it is also will.
In some ways its like the quantum mechanics experiments from the early 1900s. At the deep level of things, we can approach ourselves like a "particle" or a "wave". I personally have preferred to approach my deep self through movement over the past few years. With this practice, it becomes more important to inquire into will than it does to inquire into the "I", which is common through the classical and modern Vedanta based practices.
Movement is felt. It is inseparable from attention itself. It can be traced. Like finding your way through a maze. It can be followed back and found. This is what is called in yogic terminology laya or absorption. Because it is inseparable from attention itself, movement, which gives rise to form, can be changed, and altered.
In our ordinary state of objective consciousness, the movements and rhythms are mostly unconscious and are felt and experienced through all layers of our being without any real understanding. The more that we make these movements conscious, the more that we start to peel back the layers towards the more base levels of our consciousness. We move from the objective, through the instrumental and finally to what I prefer to call the causal rather than the subjective state. This causal state of consciousness is what some refer to as the subject. But that is only if we approach it as a noun. It is also a verb.
Approaching the subject as though it were a verb is an interesting process. It aligns with all of the teachings of the tantra, in that it doesn't act to set one thing against another, allowing for a more deeply felt integration and union to occur.
Imagine treating a river as an object. Is a river an object?
The word nadi itself means river. There are many rivers that encompass the human being. The goal of yoga is the union of the rivers into the central river, which we call Susumna. A wonderful thing happens when this union occurs. From here, many new directions of movement open up, many of which we were not aware of before.
Unifying ourselves is a vast topic beyond the scope of this post. But this is what is required if we are to truly come to the deep level understanding of our own will. Otherwise, will is divided. Flows are divided. Our energy is split into many.
What is it that controls our will? What is it that confines our will? Ultimately we alone are responsible for the containment and control of our will. We can be our greatest friend or our own greatest enemy. Patanjali in the Yoga Sutras tells us that the five main directions that the mind flows can take can be either liberating or binding. Are the flows of our mind binding us? Why? How do we become our own enemy? Likewise, how can we alter the flows to produce something wonderful? These can be important questions to look at.
Yoga helps us to address these questions. The process of yoga can help us to understand that which limits us, to help us transform that very movement in a more positive direction, one that will create more space. If we energetically align with the practices of yama and niyama, it will help to set the foundation in order, to make these powerful practices of pranayama far more effective. I have written about the energetic understanding of the yama and niyama in several posts from 2012. These are just suggestions.
Otherwise, if we do not have yama and niyama, we may find that we are manifesting a strange world of contraction and division around us. Pranayama and therefore containment or channeling of the mind/energy will be very difficult.
This is why foundation work is important. Examining our intentions is important. Examining our movements. What direction are we going and why?
Learning to trace movement is the very thing that will cause us to meet this powerful process known as mudra. We follow the driftwood in its motions to trace the sea. We trace the sea as it is pulled by the tide. We look up to the moon and recognize its role in directing the tide. We find in this process that the very thing that is directing is inseparable from that which is directed.
The difference however between this process of inquiry and just working with the driftwood is that the driftwood itself doesn't lead us to the tidal forces. It is the following of the movement of the driftwood that is important if we are to learn to trace back to source. Once we contact this source of movement, the tracing work is not as necessary anymore and we engage the work from this deeper level.
Forms can be deceiving. They are reflective of something deeper but this only becomes apparent when we know how to see them. Learn how to trace their phenomenal display back to their source by practicing this work constantly.
All success to you in your practice.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Pranayama, The Vayus, Mudra, and Meditation
I wanted to discuss further the practice of pranayama which I began a couple blogs ago. I have updated that blog, written on March 14th, to only include 4 stages. I will discuss some further stages of practice here.
In yoga, pranayama and medition are not separate practices. Yoga citta vrtti nirodhah is the partial or complete containment/control of the mental movements. These vrtti or movements are not just constrained by what we think of as the mind itself but are contained by the control of the pranic flows, through the practice of what we could call prana nirodhah.
Many people think of nirodhah as complete cessation as if this is something like a negation. This is far from true. Nirodhah, either partial or complete, is like the channeling of a river. Life is ever in motion, the force of life itself, ever moving, expanding and contracting. Learning to control the flows is like harnessing the power of life itself, like harnessing a powerful river. I only speak of partial nirodha here. We will discuss complete nirodha later.
The body is like a piece of driftwood, whereas the prana or force of life itself is like the sea. The tidal pull is like the vayus, which direct the sea in a particular direction. And then there is the magnetic force which causes the tide, which is the moon. This magnetic force akin to the moon, is connected to our deepest layer of what we call buddhi, which contains the force of our will.
It is vital to understand the process of mudra to authentically have pranayama. Otherwise we are just pushing the gross breath with our body. This is akin to controlling the sea with a piece of driftwood. For many years, I was taught by my teachers to work with the driftwood. I didn't get anywhere with these practices. The same gross techniques were taught with the mudras, forcing the body into intense positionings, stopping the gross breath, etc... All of these techqniques are very gross, some of them violent, and they lead nowhere in terms of ultimate understanding.
The process of mudra and bandha, done authentically, causes the flows of the sea of prana to shift by affecting the tide through the use of the deep magnetic forces. Some call these tidal movements vayus. There are traditionally 5 classical main vayus with 5 sub vayus. However, the vayus themselves are affected by the deep magnetic pull. They don't act on their own. Working with these deep levels of magnetism, tide, and sea will automatically produce the effects which people normally think of as the cause (in other words, what we think of as bandhas may occur by controlling the deeper, more subtle state of the body).
It is important to understand the directional shifts that can occur as we can trace these shifts back to the underlying force that guides them. Of the five classical vayus, the prana and apana are the most important. These are discussed in detail in the Yoga Vasistha. When we work with the practices given in my blog from March 14th, we are engaging the prana and apana vayus. The movement of the subtle breath to the outer dvadasanta introduces us to apana vayu and the movement of the subtle breath to the central column introduces us to the prana vayu. There is a natural and constant oscillation between these two flows, just as the tide brings the water in and out. Some modern teachers call the basic inhalation and exhalation prana and apana but this is incorrect. This is like equating the driftwood with the tide. Likewise the prana itself is not the prana and apana vayus as discussed in the texts. This is like saying the water is the tide. They are more closely related but they are still not exactly the same.
I have found no word yet which discusses the magnetic force which pulls the prana and apana vayus in perpetual motion. I'll let you know when I find this word. For now we will call it the magnetic force or just prana and apana (without the vayu). Please understand that the pranic "energy/attention" is not quite the same as the prana "magnetic force" but there is a relationship. Of course at the base level it is ALL CONSCIOUSNESS, but for the sake of this discussion, we are learning to separate different levels of phenomena.
Mudra is a practice which allows us to alter the flows of vayu and thus prana and thereby affect the mind directly. Mind is nothing other than prana, as the Yoga Vasistha (and then Hathapradipika) tells us. Mind's substance is prana itself. So when we affect these flows, we affect the mind. Many mudras are described in the hatha texts but we shouldn't be confused by this. Mudra is one, but its facets are many. This is like saying "gear shift mudra", or "pedal mudra", or "rear window check mudra", or "steering wheel mudra", when all we are really referring to is "driving mudra". What is driving?
In other words, all of the different mudras described in the texts are just different aspects of one practice. This practice is the practice which ultimately leads us to the uniting of the flows through the joining of the vayus, and causes the Goddess to unite with the God. This produces something very interesting and wonderful.
The scholars may disagree at this point but this doesn't bother me. The actual practice of this work is so far more powerful and wonderful than it is even hinted at in the texts. I was never taught this work through ordinary means. It only came after initiation into the tantra and through serious inquiry and investigation. Note that even though this work didn't come to me through ordinary means I have found that the Yoga Vasistha describes it perfectly in the chapter of liberation dedicated to Bhusunda, the long lived crow who is the master of pranayama. The other texts confirm it as well. Like many texts, most of the information is hidden and has to be unlocked. Hopefully the practices described here will help to reveal some things and be of use.
So here are stages five and above of the Ujjayi breath. Please see the post on March 14th for the first four practices. Note I have changed stage five and made it a later stage. Only stages 5 to 7 are described here.
Stage 5
At this point, begin to breathe normally with the gross breath and move the subtle breath to the central column and then to the periphery. Try playing with the frequency or speed of this subtle breath. Try stabilizing it, and holding it. When you hold it, feel the magnetic force which holds it in place. That which moves is the prana, the way it moves is the vayu, and the force that attracts the movement and holds it is the prana when held central and the apana when held externally. Study the various aspects of this work and determine definitively for yourself that these movements and forces exist. The difference between this and stage one are that the gross breath is not matching the subtle breath. The gross breath is normal.
Stage 6
In stage six, we are going to hold the twin magnetic forces equally, both at the center and at the periphery. This is in some ways like "splitting the flows". We hold prana and apana separately, in their two respective poles. I find this easiest to first establish apana at the periphery, hold it strongly by increasing the magnetic force there and then to establish prana at the center and strengthen it as well. It doesn't matter what the gross breath is doing here, however you may find that the gross breath cuts out or slows down considerably while doing this. You may also find some strange things occurring in the body now, spontaneous strange tensions, movements akin to the physical "bandhas", or slight shaking or jerking. Learn to hold this stage, with the twin vayus held equal. You might also notice that at this point, the twin nostril and other nadi flows are completely equalized during this stage.
Stage 7
This stage is only recommended for those who have completed the first 6 stages and have a good mastery of these stages. It is also recommended that one knows how to recognize the equalization of peripheral nadi flows (I will discuss this further in an upcoming blog). One should have yama and niyama.
At this stage we engage what is called "the union of prana and apana". Do the work of stage one for awhile. Then, when you are ready, split the flows as according to stage six.
Now, when you are ready, bring the external apana in to unite with the internal prana. This is like bringing two opposing magnetic forces together. At this point you may suddenly feel what is like a strong electrical shock or intense vibrations. Your body may shake, contort, spasm, and any number of other symptoms. The eye and ear lines can be affected. Noises or visions may arise. It is important not to pay too much attention to these phenomena but to stay focused on the magnetic forces of prana and apana themselves. This is a very difficult state to describe fully.
At this point you may engage what is called udana vayu. This is the upward magnetic force. When the twins prana and apana are united there is another force, the upward force which acts to pull the united forces upwards. I won't say more at this point until a later blog.
Udana doesn't have a corresponding downward force but it can be "invited" to come back down, which I strongly recommend you do.
When one comes out of this seventh stage, one should not be dizzy, spacey, shakey, or have any other strange symptoms. One should ideally come out very clear and grounded. What goes up, comes back down. But you may not feel exactly the same. More will be said on this practice later.
I want to emphasize again that this isn't something to be worked with in a casual way. This practice is extremely powerful and if one is not ready, one can cause problems.
The later stages of the practice involve waking and yogic nidras, as well as powerful creation level processes which some would call magic or siddhi. They are extremely interesting and relevant in terms of how the practitioner can learn to shape and guide their life and learn to contribute to the world. I truly feel that the practices of yoga, through the learning to control the life-force and the mind, eventually lead us back to the world of form to allow us to engage the practice of creation for the continued evolution of life. When one learns to master the pranic and magnetic forces, the distinction between prana and mind breaks down further and one will find that the mind is in the palm of one's hand. Very cool stuff!
More later. All peace, Matt
In yoga, pranayama and medition are not separate practices. Yoga citta vrtti nirodhah is the partial or complete containment/control of the mental movements. These vrtti or movements are not just constrained by what we think of as the mind itself but are contained by the control of the pranic flows, through the practice of what we could call prana nirodhah.
Many people think of nirodhah as complete cessation as if this is something like a negation. This is far from true. Nirodhah, either partial or complete, is like the channeling of a river. Life is ever in motion, the force of life itself, ever moving, expanding and contracting. Learning to control the flows is like harnessing the power of life itself, like harnessing a powerful river. I only speak of partial nirodha here. We will discuss complete nirodha later.
The body is like a piece of driftwood, whereas the prana or force of life itself is like the sea. The tidal pull is like the vayus, which direct the sea in a particular direction. And then there is the magnetic force which causes the tide, which is the moon. This magnetic force akin to the moon, is connected to our deepest layer of what we call buddhi, which contains the force of our will.
It is vital to understand the process of mudra to authentically have pranayama. Otherwise we are just pushing the gross breath with our body. This is akin to controlling the sea with a piece of driftwood. For many years, I was taught by my teachers to work with the driftwood. I didn't get anywhere with these practices. The same gross techniques were taught with the mudras, forcing the body into intense positionings, stopping the gross breath, etc... All of these techqniques are very gross, some of them violent, and they lead nowhere in terms of ultimate understanding.
The process of mudra and bandha, done authentically, causes the flows of the sea of prana to shift by affecting the tide through the use of the deep magnetic forces. Some call these tidal movements vayus. There are traditionally 5 classical main vayus with 5 sub vayus. However, the vayus themselves are affected by the deep magnetic pull. They don't act on their own. Working with these deep levels of magnetism, tide, and sea will automatically produce the effects which people normally think of as the cause (in other words, what we think of as bandhas may occur by controlling the deeper, more subtle state of the body).
It is important to understand the directional shifts that can occur as we can trace these shifts back to the underlying force that guides them. Of the five classical vayus, the prana and apana are the most important. These are discussed in detail in the Yoga Vasistha. When we work with the practices given in my blog from March 14th, we are engaging the prana and apana vayus. The movement of the subtle breath to the outer dvadasanta introduces us to apana vayu and the movement of the subtle breath to the central column introduces us to the prana vayu. There is a natural and constant oscillation between these two flows, just as the tide brings the water in and out. Some modern teachers call the basic inhalation and exhalation prana and apana but this is incorrect. This is like equating the driftwood with the tide. Likewise the prana itself is not the prana and apana vayus as discussed in the texts. This is like saying the water is the tide. They are more closely related but they are still not exactly the same.
I have found no word yet which discusses the magnetic force which pulls the prana and apana vayus in perpetual motion. I'll let you know when I find this word. For now we will call it the magnetic force or just prana and apana (without the vayu). Please understand that the pranic "energy/attention" is not quite the same as the prana "magnetic force" but there is a relationship. Of course at the base level it is ALL CONSCIOUSNESS, but for the sake of this discussion, we are learning to separate different levels of phenomena.
Mudra is a practice which allows us to alter the flows of vayu and thus prana and thereby affect the mind directly. Mind is nothing other than prana, as the Yoga Vasistha (and then Hathapradipika) tells us. Mind's substance is prana itself. So when we affect these flows, we affect the mind. Many mudras are described in the hatha texts but we shouldn't be confused by this. Mudra is one, but its facets are many. This is like saying "gear shift mudra", or "pedal mudra", or "rear window check mudra", or "steering wheel mudra", when all we are really referring to is "driving mudra". What is driving?
In other words, all of the different mudras described in the texts are just different aspects of one practice. This practice is the practice which ultimately leads us to the uniting of the flows through the joining of the vayus, and causes the Goddess to unite with the God. This produces something very interesting and wonderful.
The scholars may disagree at this point but this doesn't bother me. The actual practice of this work is so far more powerful and wonderful than it is even hinted at in the texts. I was never taught this work through ordinary means. It only came after initiation into the tantra and through serious inquiry and investigation. Note that even though this work didn't come to me through ordinary means I have found that the Yoga Vasistha describes it perfectly in the chapter of liberation dedicated to Bhusunda, the long lived crow who is the master of pranayama. The other texts confirm it as well. Like many texts, most of the information is hidden and has to be unlocked. Hopefully the practices described here will help to reveal some things and be of use.
So here are stages five and above of the Ujjayi breath. Please see the post on March 14th for the first four practices. Note I have changed stage five and made it a later stage. Only stages 5 to 7 are described here.
Stage 5
At this point, begin to breathe normally with the gross breath and move the subtle breath to the central column and then to the periphery. Try playing with the frequency or speed of this subtle breath. Try stabilizing it, and holding it. When you hold it, feel the magnetic force which holds it in place. That which moves is the prana, the way it moves is the vayu, and the force that attracts the movement and holds it is the prana when held central and the apana when held externally. Study the various aspects of this work and determine definitively for yourself that these movements and forces exist. The difference between this and stage one are that the gross breath is not matching the subtle breath. The gross breath is normal.
Stage 6
In stage six, we are going to hold the twin magnetic forces equally, both at the center and at the periphery. This is in some ways like "splitting the flows". We hold prana and apana separately, in their two respective poles. I find this easiest to first establish apana at the periphery, hold it strongly by increasing the magnetic force there and then to establish prana at the center and strengthen it as well. It doesn't matter what the gross breath is doing here, however you may find that the gross breath cuts out or slows down considerably while doing this. You may also find some strange things occurring in the body now, spontaneous strange tensions, movements akin to the physical "bandhas", or slight shaking or jerking. Learn to hold this stage, with the twin vayus held equal. You might also notice that at this point, the twin nostril and other nadi flows are completely equalized during this stage.
Stage 7
This stage is only recommended for those who have completed the first 6 stages and have a good mastery of these stages. It is also recommended that one knows how to recognize the equalization of peripheral nadi flows (I will discuss this further in an upcoming blog). One should have yama and niyama.
At this stage we engage what is called "the union of prana and apana". Do the work of stage one for awhile. Then, when you are ready, split the flows as according to stage six.
Now, when you are ready, bring the external apana in to unite with the internal prana. This is like bringing two opposing magnetic forces together. At this point you may suddenly feel what is like a strong electrical shock or intense vibrations. Your body may shake, contort, spasm, and any number of other symptoms. The eye and ear lines can be affected. Noises or visions may arise. It is important not to pay too much attention to these phenomena but to stay focused on the magnetic forces of prana and apana themselves. This is a very difficult state to describe fully.
At this point you may engage what is called udana vayu. This is the upward magnetic force. When the twins prana and apana are united there is another force, the upward force which acts to pull the united forces upwards. I won't say more at this point until a later blog.
Udana doesn't have a corresponding downward force but it can be "invited" to come back down, which I strongly recommend you do.
When one comes out of this seventh stage, one should not be dizzy, spacey, shakey, or have any other strange symptoms. One should ideally come out very clear and grounded. What goes up, comes back down. But you may not feel exactly the same. More will be said on this practice later.
I want to emphasize again that this isn't something to be worked with in a casual way. This practice is extremely powerful and if one is not ready, one can cause problems.
The later stages of the practice involve waking and yogic nidras, as well as powerful creation level processes which some would call magic or siddhi. They are extremely interesting and relevant in terms of how the practitioner can learn to shape and guide their life and learn to contribute to the world. I truly feel that the practices of yoga, through the learning to control the life-force and the mind, eventually lead us back to the world of form to allow us to engage the practice of creation for the continued evolution of life. When one learns to master the pranic and magnetic forces, the distinction between prana and mind breaks down further and one will find that the mind is in the palm of one's hand. Very cool stuff!
More later. All peace, Matt
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Some Personal Reflections
Hi Everyone,
I thought I would take the time in my blog to reflect on my personal experiences and growth during my time in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I normally don't use the blog for this purpose but I feel it is relevant now in light of what I now hold to be true with my practice of yoga and tantra.
In 2008, I was living in Portland and was struggling. Struggling with the death of my father, struggling with my business. Struggling with many things. I prayed for insight to come in the form of a tantra teacher as I felt that even with what I was working with the yoga, it wasn't enough. Little would I have guessed at that time that within a month my prayers would be answered. They were not answered however, in the way that I foresaw. As some of you know, my life was then turned upside down and all the mistakes and stickiness which I had allowed into my life came to the forefront. I found myself losing house, business, friends, and more. I blame no one for any of it but myself. It was only years later that I could start to see more of the whole picture.
During the spring of 2009, a strange thing happened. The physical practices with which I had been working began to shift. I began to notice movement inside which I had not been aware of previously. In truth, these movements had been present all along but they had just not been in the conscious light of awareness. I didn't fully start to understand these movements until a couple years later.
When we came to Santa Fe, some of my demons followed me. No surprise there. Nevertheless, coming here was a reprieve. A breather. A place to time out. To reflect. To contemplate deeper matters of choices made in the past to directions that were needed in the future. A place to reflect on the present, who I was, where I was going. I am eternally grateful to all those who received us here: students, employers and friends.
In the summer of 2010, I travelled to East India and was initiated fully into tantra by Sri Amritanandanatha of the Dattatreya sampradaya lineage. This experience turned my world upside down. It also gave me an expanse of freedom which I had never before experienced. Diksa or initiation into the Sri Vidya is almost unexplainable to those who haven't had it. It is like a download. A massive download of information and insight, following centuries of practitioners who have gone before. It permeated everything. Nothing inside of me was left unchanged.
In the fall of 2010 I participated in a local spiritual ceremony which granted me a direct vision of the Mother, in her destructive aspect, which shattered my earthly reality and left me in a powerful void. The realizations that occurred that evening on the full moon in November have stayed with me to this day.
That fall I decided to leave my yoga teacher of 12 years, a man who had been like my father to me. I realized that after 12 years of study I was ready to step out on my own, that I needed to step out. I announced my decision to him in January of 2011 and he very graciously gave me a blessing, sending me on my way. Although we had differences, I will always honor his gifts to me. Most especially his gift of teaching me how to open doors. He never spoke this gift in words to me. It was an unspoken transmission. I had been studying his every action from the moment I met him, and after 12 years I realized that somehow this strange ability had passed to me.
In leaving my teacher, I realized that I was at a strange crossroads. I fell into a strange state. Not knowing how to exactly move forward, I carried certain things forward that should have been left behind. I carried those things with me and couldn't let certain feelings go. Anger arose in me, which infected my teaching. I lost students. I was bitter. In a state of despair.
During this time, struggling with my loss and not knowing how to go forward, I worked with someone who took me into caves at midnight, to rivers and streams, to observe energetics of the moon and other natural phenomena, and I began to commune directly with the natural world. I worked with meditations which revealed to me a layer of mind and experience which I had never encountered before in this life. I started to experience states of consciousness which I never would have guessed existed before, and a lot of what I had held to be true up to that point began to fall away. I struggled with these insights as I was still internally at odds with myself.
Nevertheless, despite my struggles I began to trust in the deeper well of my knowledge and began to open doors, internal doors which began to reveal to me a much vaster world. This culminated in the spring of 2012 when I began to perform the powerful Sri Cakra puja in the early morning hours. At the two-week point of my sadhana, a huge door opened suddenly and I was struck down with a violent illness that lasted for over a month. My demons in the form of fear struck me fully. I began to separate from my body and, in order to understand what was occurring, I dove deeper. I began a series of investigations which took me through intensive studies of Western Occultism and a deeper investigation of the Tantra and Yoga. I began to deepen my studies of the laws of correspondence. I also began to resurrect certain practices and processes which I had forsaken sometime in my 20s. I began to embrace the creative force of the mind, imagination, and the dream world.
Throughout my period of investigation following this illness, I was literally cracking apart. At this time I utilized a combination of methods from psychosynthesis, western magic traditions, and tantra to gather all of the fragmented elements of my internal psyche to come together. I unified myself. This only came about through a deep, deep acceptance of myself and all of its parts; something which I had struggled with for most of my life. This acceptance and unification led to a massive liberation of energy which opened further doors. In fact, at this time so many doors were opening that I was forced to investigate the nature of will in order to clarify my direction as to which doors should be open.
On a day in August, 2012, I was sitting on the porch and it all came crashing down. I was responsible for all of it. All of it. I understood who I was and where I was going. Outwardly nothing much changed. Inwardly there was sudden clarity and a deep understanding of myself as movement. In this shift, it wasn't so much like I became someone else but rather that doubt had truly dropped away and I found myself standing with confidence on my own two feet. A strange conviction and faith was now present. A faith unlike any other. Truthfully, when that confidence and conviction arose in me, a new awe, almost fear, came alive. I was awed at the wonder of what we are and what we are capable of. What we are truly capable of. All of us.
This all led to my decision, with my wife, to return to the NW. To return to the world from the wonderful retreat which we have been blessed with for the last few years. Even now, a big part of me wants to just go dissolve in the wilderness here, to continue to soak it up. But a stronger part of me feels called to come back. To share, to learn, to be with the world at large.
Looking back on my words I realize I must sound like I am one of those obnoxious people who has "found it". Not so. Quite the contrary. There was never anything to find. The Cintamani Gem, what they call the wish-fulfilling gem, is never apart from us. We are never missing that which we seek. That very thing with which we seek is the very thing that we might have been looking for in the first place.
I have decided wholeheartedly to stop seeking and start creating. To partake of God's movement and follow that deep will which is always in motion.
I have immense gratitude.
I want to thank New Mexico for its amazing gifts, its amazing people, its wondrous vibration which has shattered me and brought me back together.
I am truly humbled by its magnificence.
May I always carry Her and her Wisdom in my Heart of hearts, wherever I may roam.
I thought I would take the time in my blog to reflect on my personal experiences and growth during my time in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I normally don't use the blog for this purpose but I feel it is relevant now in light of what I now hold to be true with my practice of yoga and tantra.
In 2008, I was living in Portland and was struggling. Struggling with the death of my father, struggling with my business. Struggling with many things. I prayed for insight to come in the form of a tantra teacher as I felt that even with what I was working with the yoga, it wasn't enough. Little would I have guessed at that time that within a month my prayers would be answered. They were not answered however, in the way that I foresaw. As some of you know, my life was then turned upside down and all the mistakes and stickiness which I had allowed into my life came to the forefront. I found myself losing house, business, friends, and more. I blame no one for any of it but myself. It was only years later that I could start to see more of the whole picture.
During the spring of 2009, a strange thing happened. The physical practices with which I had been working began to shift. I began to notice movement inside which I had not been aware of previously. In truth, these movements had been present all along but they had just not been in the conscious light of awareness. I didn't fully start to understand these movements until a couple years later.
When we came to Santa Fe, some of my demons followed me. No surprise there. Nevertheless, coming here was a reprieve. A breather. A place to time out. To reflect. To contemplate deeper matters of choices made in the past to directions that were needed in the future. A place to reflect on the present, who I was, where I was going. I am eternally grateful to all those who received us here: students, employers and friends.
In the summer of 2010, I travelled to East India and was initiated fully into tantra by Sri Amritanandanatha of the Dattatreya sampradaya lineage. This experience turned my world upside down. It also gave me an expanse of freedom which I had never before experienced. Diksa or initiation into the Sri Vidya is almost unexplainable to those who haven't had it. It is like a download. A massive download of information and insight, following centuries of practitioners who have gone before. It permeated everything. Nothing inside of me was left unchanged.
In the fall of 2010 I participated in a local spiritual ceremony which granted me a direct vision of the Mother, in her destructive aspect, which shattered my earthly reality and left me in a powerful void. The realizations that occurred that evening on the full moon in November have stayed with me to this day.
That fall I decided to leave my yoga teacher of 12 years, a man who had been like my father to me. I realized that after 12 years of study I was ready to step out on my own, that I needed to step out. I announced my decision to him in January of 2011 and he very graciously gave me a blessing, sending me on my way. Although we had differences, I will always honor his gifts to me. Most especially his gift of teaching me how to open doors. He never spoke this gift in words to me. It was an unspoken transmission. I had been studying his every action from the moment I met him, and after 12 years I realized that somehow this strange ability had passed to me.
In leaving my teacher, I realized that I was at a strange crossroads. I fell into a strange state. Not knowing how to exactly move forward, I carried certain things forward that should have been left behind. I carried those things with me and couldn't let certain feelings go. Anger arose in me, which infected my teaching. I lost students. I was bitter. In a state of despair.
During this time, struggling with my loss and not knowing how to go forward, I worked with someone who took me into caves at midnight, to rivers and streams, to observe energetics of the moon and other natural phenomena, and I began to commune directly with the natural world. I worked with meditations which revealed to me a layer of mind and experience which I had never encountered before in this life. I started to experience states of consciousness which I never would have guessed existed before, and a lot of what I had held to be true up to that point began to fall away. I struggled with these insights as I was still internally at odds with myself.
Nevertheless, despite my struggles I began to trust in the deeper well of my knowledge and began to open doors, internal doors which began to reveal to me a much vaster world. This culminated in the spring of 2012 when I began to perform the powerful Sri Cakra puja in the early morning hours. At the two-week point of my sadhana, a huge door opened suddenly and I was struck down with a violent illness that lasted for over a month. My demons in the form of fear struck me fully. I began to separate from my body and, in order to understand what was occurring, I dove deeper. I began a series of investigations which took me through intensive studies of Western Occultism and a deeper investigation of the Tantra and Yoga. I began to deepen my studies of the laws of correspondence. I also began to resurrect certain practices and processes which I had forsaken sometime in my 20s. I began to embrace the creative force of the mind, imagination, and the dream world.
Throughout my period of investigation following this illness, I was literally cracking apart. At this time I utilized a combination of methods from psychosynthesis, western magic traditions, and tantra to gather all of the fragmented elements of my internal psyche to come together. I unified myself. This only came about through a deep, deep acceptance of myself and all of its parts; something which I had struggled with for most of my life. This acceptance and unification led to a massive liberation of energy which opened further doors. In fact, at this time so many doors were opening that I was forced to investigate the nature of will in order to clarify my direction as to which doors should be open.
On a day in August, 2012, I was sitting on the porch and it all came crashing down. I was responsible for all of it. All of it. I understood who I was and where I was going. Outwardly nothing much changed. Inwardly there was sudden clarity and a deep understanding of myself as movement. In this shift, it wasn't so much like I became someone else but rather that doubt had truly dropped away and I found myself standing with confidence on my own two feet. A strange conviction and faith was now present. A faith unlike any other. Truthfully, when that confidence and conviction arose in me, a new awe, almost fear, came alive. I was awed at the wonder of what we are and what we are capable of. What we are truly capable of. All of us.
This all led to my decision, with my wife, to return to the NW. To return to the world from the wonderful retreat which we have been blessed with for the last few years. Even now, a big part of me wants to just go dissolve in the wilderness here, to continue to soak it up. But a stronger part of me feels called to come back. To share, to learn, to be with the world at large.
Looking back on my words I realize I must sound like I am one of those obnoxious people who has "found it". Not so. Quite the contrary. There was never anything to find. The Cintamani Gem, what they call the wish-fulfilling gem, is never apart from us. We are never missing that which we seek. That very thing with which we seek is the very thing that we might have been looking for in the first place.
I have decided wholeheartedly to stop seeking and start creating. To partake of God's movement and follow that deep will which is always in motion.
I have immense gratitude.
I want to thank New Mexico for its amazing gifts, its amazing people, its wondrous vibration which has shattered me and brought me back together.
I am truly humbled by its magnificence.
May I always carry Her and her Wisdom in my Heart of hearts, wherever I may roam.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Pranayama, Sahita and Kevala Kumbhaka
I want to talk today about pranayama to clarify some of the practices that we have been working on here in Santa Fe. The book is still in the works and I have not posted much lately as this year has been a busy transition year for myself and family.
Pranayama is at the heart of Hatha Yoga sadhana. Some attempt to separate the 8 traditional limbs of yoga, dealing with each of them in a linear, separate way, but if one is intelligent with practice, one realizes that this is impossible to do.
One of the earliest definitions of yoga is samadhi, the control of the mind through several stages. This process is described in full detail in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. This process is brought to full understanding in the teachings of the ancient Hatha yoga texts, which quoting from Yoga Vasistha, tell us that the mind has two causes, vasana or conditioning, and samirana or respiration. To control the mind through controlling the conditioning is one of the oldest methods utilized. We will not deal with that here but rather will focus on the control of respiration to control the mind.
The Hatha Yoga recognizes the truth of Arjuna's statement in the Bhagavad Gita that "the mind is as difficult to control as the wind." On first read of this statement one might be bewildered and discouraged. However, the wind referred to in the secret understanding is not the external wind but the internal wind, the prana.
Prana is related to wind or vayu and according to ancient Samkhya teaching, the wind element is associated with sparsa or the deep inner feeling that encompasses one's immediate sense of being. In simpler terms, prana is felt. This is important to understand. Another common misperception is that prana is something which must be discovered. However, this isn't true. Prana is always present. It is inseparable from attention/feeling itself. Let me state that again. Prana is not something we discover. It is inseparable from base attention itself.
Understanding these basic truths, one can immediately proceed to contain and control attention/feeling through various techniques which are given in the ancient teachings. In the process, the citta or mind will come under control rather rapidly.
It states very clearly in the Hathapradipika 2.77 and also the commentary on Yoga Sutra 1.34 by Hariharananda Aranya that at the end of all breath retention the mind should be made free of objects. This quickly dispells the notion that pranayama is mere breath exercise. Full pranayama should be done according to Hariharananda, first with associated relaxation of body, then full relaxation of mind. This is done according to sutra 1.35, first with the instrumental sensory feeling body, and then the mind rests according to 1.36 in the base level luminosity, the experiential heart of consciousness itself. This process described in the sutras is equivalent to the deep process of mudra described in the hatha texts. There is a lot to say on this process.
There is a common misperception within the yoga community that kumbhaka or retention of the breath is done with only the gross breath. However this is a very gross understanding. Many utilize the bandhas and mudras only on the physical level. However, pranayama is useless without the stabilizing of consciousness. It is at this level that we enter the fifth stage of yoga, the pratyahara. Pratyahara according to one of the definitions of Yajnavalkya and Vasistha is the stabilizing of prana in particular configurations, traditionally at the various adhara points. Many other texts also describe ways to stabilize and hold the attention energy. This holding of attention/energy in the sparsic field is what I would call the "subtle breath" as opposed to holding the gross breath which is holding inhalation and exhalation.
In the texts, the holding of breath or kumbhaka, done with inhalation or exhalation is called sahita. Without inhalation or exhalation, the breath hold is called kevala. Many interpret this meaning to be that inhalation and exhalation holds are themselves sahita while kevala kumbhaka is an "in between" hold done somewhere between the inhale and exhale. I have heard other interpretations as well. I would say that after years of practicing these ways, I consider these interpretations to be very gross.
I now interpret the sahita kumbhaka to be just what it says, a hold of the prana, which is inseparable from attention/feeling with inhalation or exhalation (a gross inhalation or exhalation). In other words, the gross breath matches the subtle breath. Kevala kumbhaka is a hold in which the attention/energy is held separately from the inhalation and exhalation movements or pauses. In other words, the subtle breath separates from the gross breath. This can be done with gross breath held and subtle moving, or the subtle held and the gross moving, or both held or both moving. The important point is that there is a separation of gross and subtle that occurs in the kevala.
This separation process in kevala kumbhaka is an important thing to understand. In fact, the term kevala means isolated or unmingled. In other words, kevala is a separation or an unmingling of the gross and subtle breaths. This is not as complicated as it may appear.
One of the first breath techniques that I teach to understand this concept is derived from a powerful technique given in Yoga Vasistha and Vijnanabhairava. Traditionally the technique involves breathing in and out to two locus points, termed the bahya and antar dvadasantas. Bahya is external, antar is internal, and dvadasanta means the twelve finger width distance. Traditionally the bahya dvadasanta is held twelve finger digit width distances beyond the nose. The antar dvadasanta is twelve finger digit widths down from the nose base (located at approximately the heart). One focuses on these two points. After years of practice with this, I expanded the location feeling of these two points into the twelve finger digit width distance all around the body from the skin (bahya dvadasanta) and expanded the inner dvadasanta to include the entire central column. This is discussed further in Yoga Vasistha.
Stage 1
So the technique now goes as follows: breath out to the twelve finger width distance space around the entire body (like an external aura) and then breath in to the central column. When you breathe out, focus the breath/attention/feeling at the external field, wait until the body relaxes and then the mind relaxes. Employ Shambhavi Mudra here if you know it. When you breath in, hold the breath/attention/feeling in the central column, all along it, relaxing first body then mind. Shambhavi mudra again. When I say relax here, I mean relaxing everything that is not associated with holding the attention/energy/feeling at the specific location. There is much more to say on this but we'll keep it simple for now. Continue this process, holding the attention/energy/breath/feeling at each location, in sync with the gross breathing. This is sahita pranayama and kumbhaka (holding). In other words, the gross breath is in sync with the subtle attention/breath.
This is Ujjayi breath, the true Ujjayi. What does it mean to have Ujjayi? It means to be victorious. To conquer. It means to conquer the movements of the waters of prana. In other words it means to have true pranayama. Control of the prana.
Stage 2
After some time, switch the gross and subtle movements and holds. In other words, inhale to the external field and exhale to the internal field. This is also sahita but it is reversed.
Stage 3
After some time with the second technique, try the third one. This technique is the first experience of kevala pranayama. Go back to the first technique and breath out to the external field and inhale to the internal field. Then after some time, stop the gross breath, holding it in. Now, push the subtle breath attention out to the external field, while holding the gross breath in at the spine. Hold for some time, relaxing body and mind in the same way. Then bring the subtle breath/attention in back to the spine and hold the gross and subtle together. Then breathe both subtle and gross breaths out to the external field and then bring them back in together to the center and repeat the separation process again. If you do this right you will notice certain physical processes arise in the body. This process starts to naturally activate bandha and mudra.
Stage 4
The fourth stage is another kevala practice. Here, we stop the gross breath somewhere in between the inhalation and exhalation and forget whether we are inhaling or exhaling. Then we push the subtle breath/attention out to the external field, hold it with bodily and mental relaxation, and then draw it back in and hold it centrally with respective relaxations. This process can be done rapidly or slow. Take normal gross breaths in between. This is an extremely powerful practice that starts to electrify the central column and may produce deep physical reactions in the eyes and chakra regions. Kundali and the inner vibrations can be aroused in this practice.
The first two techniques are a normal and reversed sahita process. The last two are all kevala techniques in that the 3rd technique holds the gross and moves the subtle, the 4th does the same but in a different way.
These techniques should be learned slowly and ideally under the direction of the teacher. They help us to achieve control of the prana. Understanding these techniques leads to a deep understanding of prana, apana, mind, energy, mudra, and kundali, as described in the hatha texts.
This process of discovering kevala pranayama and kumbhaka leads to a deep process of separation of the subtle and gross bodies and one quickly learns how to work with the subtle field of sparsa. It is here that one truly starts to understand the instrumental and lower levels of the expression of consciousness as described by Patanjali. Then one is rapidly drawn in to yoga citta vrtti nirodha through the practice of prana nirodha. In other words, the inner limbs of yoga ripen as a fruit of the practice and meditation is in the palm of your hand, effortlessly.
One other interesting thing to note is that kevala and kaivalya are similar words. Kaivalya is that isolation that is described in the fourth chapter of the yoga sutras. The Hatha Yoga teachings lead us to that Kaivalya through the sublime practice of Kevala.
Pranayama is at the heart of Hatha Yoga sadhana. Some attempt to separate the 8 traditional limbs of yoga, dealing with each of them in a linear, separate way, but if one is intelligent with practice, one realizes that this is impossible to do.
One of the earliest definitions of yoga is samadhi, the control of the mind through several stages. This process is described in full detail in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. This process is brought to full understanding in the teachings of the ancient Hatha yoga texts, which quoting from Yoga Vasistha, tell us that the mind has two causes, vasana or conditioning, and samirana or respiration. To control the mind through controlling the conditioning is one of the oldest methods utilized. We will not deal with that here but rather will focus on the control of respiration to control the mind.
The Hatha Yoga recognizes the truth of Arjuna's statement in the Bhagavad Gita that "the mind is as difficult to control as the wind." On first read of this statement one might be bewildered and discouraged. However, the wind referred to in the secret understanding is not the external wind but the internal wind, the prana.
Prana is related to wind or vayu and according to ancient Samkhya teaching, the wind element is associated with sparsa or the deep inner feeling that encompasses one's immediate sense of being. In simpler terms, prana is felt. This is important to understand. Another common misperception is that prana is something which must be discovered. However, this isn't true. Prana is always present. It is inseparable from attention/feeling itself. Let me state that again. Prana is not something we discover. It is inseparable from base attention itself.
Understanding these basic truths, one can immediately proceed to contain and control attention/feeling through various techniques which are given in the ancient teachings. In the process, the citta or mind will come under control rather rapidly.
It states very clearly in the Hathapradipika 2.77 and also the commentary on Yoga Sutra 1.34 by Hariharananda Aranya that at the end of all breath retention the mind should be made free of objects. This quickly dispells the notion that pranayama is mere breath exercise. Full pranayama should be done according to Hariharananda, first with associated relaxation of body, then full relaxation of mind. This is done according to sutra 1.35, first with the instrumental sensory feeling body, and then the mind rests according to 1.36 in the base level luminosity, the experiential heart of consciousness itself. This process described in the sutras is equivalent to the deep process of mudra described in the hatha texts. There is a lot to say on this process.
There is a common misperception within the yoga community that kumbhaka or retention of the breath is done with only the gross breath. However this is a very gross understanding. Many utilize the bandhas and mudras only on the physical level. However, pranayama is useless without the stabilizing of consciousness. It is at this level that we enter the fifth stage of yoga, the pratyahara. Pratyahara according to one of the definitions of Yajnavalkya and Vasistha is the stabilizing of prana in particular configurations, traditionally at the various adhara points. Many other texts also describe ways to stabilize and hold the attention energy. This holding of attention/energy in the sparsic field is what I would call the "subtle breath" as opposed to holding the gross breath which is holding inhalation and exhalation.
In the texts, the holding of breath or kumbhaka, done with inhalation or exhalation is called sahita. Without inhalation or exhalation, the breath hold is called kevala. Many interpret this meaning to be that inhalation and exhalation holds are themselves sahita while kevala kumbhaka is an "in between" hold done somewhere between the inhale and exhale. I have heard other interpretations as well. I would say that after years of practicing these ways, I consider these interpretations to be very gross.
I now interpret the sahita kumbhaka to be just what it says, a hold of the prana, which is inseparable from attention/feeling with inhalation or exhalation (a gross inhalation or exhalation). In other words, the gross breath matches the subtle breath. Kevala kumbhaka is a hold in which the attention/energy is held separately from the inhalation and exhalation movements or pauses. In other words, the subtle breath separates from the gross breath. This can be done with gross breath held and subtle moving, or the subtle held and the gross moving, or both held or both moving. The important point is that there is a separation of gross and subtle that occurs in the kevala.
This separation process in kevala kumbhaka is an important thing to understand. In fact, the term kevala means isolated or unmingled. In other words, kevala is a separation or an unmingling of the gross and subtle breaths. This is not as complicated as it may appear.
One of the first breath techniques that I teach to understand this concept is derived from a powerful technique given in Yoga Vasistha and Vijnanabhairava. Traditionally the technique involves breathing in and out to two locus points, termed the bahya and antar dvadasantas. Bahya is external, antar is internal, and dvadasanta means the twelve finger width distance. Traditionally the bahya dvadasanta is held twelve finger digit width distances beyond the nose. The antar dvadasanta is twelve finger digit widths down from the nose base (located at approximately the heart). One focuses on these two points. After years of practice with this, I expanded the location feeling of these two points into the twelve finger digit width distance all around the body from the skin (bahya dvadasanta) and expanded the inner dvadasanta to include the entire central column. This is discussed further in Yoga Vasistha.
Stage 1
So the technique now goes as follows: breath out to the twelve finger width distance space around the entire body (like an external aura) and then breath in to the central column. When you breathe out, focus the breath/attention/feeling at the external field, wait until the body relaxes and then the mind relaxes. Employ Shambhavi Mudra here if you know it. When you breath in, hold the breath/attention/feeling in the central column, all along it, relaxing first body then mind. Shambhavi mudra again. When I say relax here, I mean relaxing everything that is not associated with holding the attention/energy/feeling at the specific location. There is much more to say on this but we'll keep it simple for now. Continue this process, holding the attention/energy/breath/feeling at each location, in sync with the gross breathing. This is sahita pranayama and kumbhaka (holding). In other words, the gross breath is in sync with the subtle attention/breath.
This is Ujjayi breath, the true Ujjayi. What does it mean to have Ujjayi? It means to be victorious. To conquer. It means to conquer the movements of the waters of prana. In other words it means to have true pranayama. Control of the prana.
Stage 2
After some time, switch the gross and subtle movements and holds. In other words, inhale to the external field and exhale to the internal field. This is also sahita but it is reversed.
Stage 3
After some time with the second technique, try the third one. This technique is the first experience of kevala pranayama. Go back to the first technique and breath out to the external field and inhale to the internal field. Then after some time, stop the gross breath, holding it in. Now, push the subtle breath attention out to the external field, while holding the gross breath in at the spine. Hold for some time, relaxing body and mind in the same way. Then bring the subtle breath/attention in back to the spine and hold the gross and subtle together. Then breathe both subtle and gross breaths out to the external field and then bring them back in together to the center and repeat the separation process again. If you do this right you will notice certain physical processes arise in the body. This process starts to naturally activate bandha and mudra.
Stage 4
The fourth stage is another kevala practice. Here, we stop the gross breath somewhere in between the inhalation and exhalation and forget whether we are inhaling or exhaling. Then we push the subtle breath/attention out to the external field, hold it with bodily and mental relaxation, and then draw it back in and hold it centrally with respective relaxations. This process can be done rapidly or slow. Take normal gross breaths in between. This is an extremely powerful practice that starts to electrify the central column and may produce deep physical reactions in the eyes and chakra regions. Kundali and the inner vibrations can be aroused in this practice.
The first two techniques are a normal and reversed sahita process. The last two are all kevala techniques in that the 3rd technique holds the gross and moves the subtle, the 4th does the same but in a different way.
These techniques should be learned slowly and ideally under the direction of the teacher. They help us to achieve control of the prana. Understanding these techniques leads to a deep understanding of prana, apana, mind, energy, mudra, and kundali, as described in the hatha texts.
This process of discovering kevala pranayama and kumbhaka leads to a deep process of separation of the subtle and gross bodies and one quickly learns how to work with the subtle field of sparsa. It is here that one truly starts to understand the instrumental and lower levels of the expression of consciousness as described by Patanjali. Then one is rapidly drawn in to yoga citta vrtti nirodha through the practice of prana nirodha. In other words, the inner limbs of yoga ripen as a fruit of the practice and meditation is in the palm of your hand, effortlessly.
One other interesting thing to note is that kevala and kaivalya are similar words. Kaivalya is that isolation that is described in the fourth chapter of the yoga sutras. The Hatha Yoga teachings lead us to that Kaivalya through the sublime practice of Kevala.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
What is Mudra? What is Meditation?
Haven't been posting lately as I'm working on my book. Here is a little something...
What is Mudra?
-->
What is Mudra?
-->
What
is mudra? Mudra means gesture. There are many different kinds of mudra, from
hand gestures, to the complex bodily gestures of Hatha Yoga, to the subtle
internal gestures of Kashmir Shaivism. Mudras are used in various disciplines
from yoga to classical dance. This short article will not address hand and bodily mudras, and
will instead focus on the subtler aspects of mudra.
What
is gesture? Wikipedia defines gesture as "a form of non-verbal communication in
which visible bodily actions communicate particular messages, either in place
of speech or together and in parallel with words." It is easy to see the
physical aspects of this, at least with hand and bodily mudras, but perhaps not
so easy to see the communicative aspects. What are we attempting to communicate
with?
According
to my own personal experience coming after over 25 years of practice, I would
restate this definition as follows:
“Mudra is a form of non-verbal
communicative movement occurring between lower and higher selves, possibly starting as
an instigation of movement on a bodily level but felt/initiated as a wave-front of much
deeper movement on a subtler non-verbal, instrumental level that acts to unite
the lower and higher aspects of one’s self.”
Mudra, much more than communication,
is actually a movement that acts to
unite. This follows one of the important definitions of yoga as union. Mudra is
the uniting of polarities. It is the uniting of that which is divided. It is
the uniting of the various channels of flow in the subtle body, bringing the
forces of prana or life energy into balance and creating a stable and clear
mind.
When
I first studied meditation I focused so much on the object of meditation that
it rapidly became so frustrating as I could never hold it. It was only over 20
years later that I realized that the object itself is not near as important as
the energy that holds it. Take for example the simple task of picking up a cup
of water. We don’t need to focus on the cup as we pick up the cup of water. We
only need to focus on our arm, which is moving, to pick up the cup. Our arm
picks up the cup and holds it. We cannot hope to hold the cup without the arm.
While this simple example may not seem relevant to the practice of meditation
it is in a most vital way.
Meditation
is the act of holding an object with our minds. If we attempt to hold the
object in our minds without understanding our mind and how it moves, we will
never achieve the goal of actually holding the object in mind. Our mind will
shift. In the Bhagavad Gita, Arjuna tells Krishna that the mind is as difficult
to control as the wind. Then Krishna responds by saying that yes it is, but
little by little with the help of constant practice and detachment, it can be
done. Most people when they read this verse focus only on Krishna’s answer as
the key to controlling the mind. The actual key is hidden in Arjuna’s
declaration. “The mind is as easy to control as the wind.” Can we control the
wind? Not the physical wind perhaps. But the wind Arjuna is secretly referring
to is our internal wind. This statement is a reflection of another verse in the
Yoga Vasistha that is quoted in Hatha Pradipika: “the mind and the prana are like
two sides of one coin. If you affect one, you affect the other.” This is the
secret of both yoga and meditation. This practice of affecting the prana, to
thus affect the mind, is the practice of mudra and is the very essence and
secret of the science of yoga.
Mudra
is movement. The nature of this movement is described in the Yoga Sutras in the
third chapter. The name given to this movement is what is called parinama,
which means transformation of state. A transformation of state is a change from
one state to another. In other words from an active, busy state to a calm one.
Why would we be interested in this? To understand this we have to go back to
the beginning of the Yoga Sutras and examine Vyasa’s excellent commentary of Sutra
1.1.
Vyasa
in his commentary to sutra 1.1 tells us that the mind exists in five possible
types of states. Mudha, kshipta, vikshipta, ekagra, and niruddha. These
translate to torporous/tired, frenetic/busy, distracted, one-pointed, and
restrained. Energetically, these correspond to the classical gunas of samkhya
and Ayurveda. The guna of earth and water corresponds to the torporous/tired
mind, which is an extreme, negative state that the mind takes on when earth and
water elements are out of balance in the body/mind system. The guna of rajas,
which corresponds to the element fire when it is out of balance brings the
frenetic/busy state of mind. When the gunas are mixed up, we get the state we
most live in, the vikshipta or “distracted” state of mind. This state allows
for short-term concentration on tasks but doesn’t allow the mind to stay
focused for long periods. When the guna of sattva is dominant, then our mind is
transformed according to both the Yoga Sutras and the Yoga Vasistha. Our mind
then becomes clear and transparent and concentration becomes very steady and
can last for some time. We will leave the fifth state alone for the moment.
So
how do we bring the mind to a sattvic state? According to Vasistha as described
above, the mind is linked intimately to the pranic body, the energetic body. So
if we examine the nature of the energetic body and make the corresponding
adjustments, the mind will follow suit. The rajasic and the tamasic energies
are like the twin pillars to either side of the central pillar of the sattvic
guna. If we learn to bring them into balance, they in effect cancel each other
out and we are brought into what we call the middle pillar or the central
column. We will discuss this in more detail in a later article. For now, let us
understand that balance is key to coming into a more sattvic state. In fact,
this is the very definition of yoga given in the Bhagavad Gita 2.50. “Yoga is
equilibrium.” Balance is the key to the sattvic state of body and mind.
How
do we find balance? We begin to notice the movements
that bring us into balance and the movements
that bring us out of balance. The movements that bring us into balance are
called by Patanjali parinama. The movements that bring us out of balance are
the reverse of that parinama. What do we mean by this? How do we even focus on
movement?
Everything
in our life is a part of this movement. According to tantra, everything is in a
state of expansion, maya, called Hrim, and contraction, liberation called
Shrim. Don’t be confused by what I mean here by contraction and expansion. Here
contraction means contracting towards the bindu or point of creation and
expansion means the creation of the universe. We are always in an act of
creation or destruction. Existence is fleeting. If you look for it, it is very
difficult to find (I challenge you!). So we are NEVER separate from this
movement. Never. All we have to do is learn to feel it.
Prana
or energy/movement is felt. This is
explained clearly in classical Samkhya which says that the air element of which
prana is intimately related, is connected with the sparsa or inner
touch/feeling. So if we want to understand what prana is, we need to get in
touch with our inner feeling. Prana is felt.
Energy is felt. Movement is felt. When I say felt here I do not mean
feelings like love, happiness, sadness, etc. I mean the actual sensation of
feelings. Perhaps sense would be a better word. English is a hard language here
to describe exactly what we are talking about. It is important to understand
intimately the meaning here though.
So
we learn to feel movement. We learn to feel the movement from contraction to
expansion. We learn to feel the movement from expansion to contraction. If we
learn to feel these two directions of
movement then we are well on our way to understanding mudra.
In
Shaivism, the terms used for these two directions of movement are called unmesa and nimesa. Unmesa is expansion. Nimesa is contraction. The interesting
thing here is that they can go both ways. In other words, Unmesa can be both an
expansion of freedom or an expansion of bondage. Nimesa can be a contraction of
freedom or a contraction of bondage. These are important aspects of the mudra
which need to be understood. We will discuss more on this later.
What
causes the directional shift in movement? One important concept very intimately
related to mudra is called bandha. Bandha is that which binds. This binding
causes a directional shift from outward to inner movement. Bandha shifts the
unmesa of bondage to the unmesa of freedom. Bandha shifts the nimesa of freedom
to the nimesa of bondage. Bandha is like a switch. It causes us to shift
direction. It is at the heart of mudra.
The
bandha that I am discussing here is far beyond physical movement. The physical
bandhas may help point the way, but in my personal experience, if you don’t
find that way then the physical bandhas will never take you anywhere. The real
bandha is deep inside you. It is the directional shift that turns energy around
and causes bondage to turn to freedom. It is the ultimate form of recycling,
taking bad energy and converting it to good. It takes confusion and turns it to
liberation. This is the deep secret of bandha.
When
we begin to pay attention to this movement, this parinama in all of its aspects,
then we begin to understand mudra. We pay attention to unmesa, to nimesa, to
bandha. We pay attention to what direction things are moving. This is Krishna’s
answer to Arjuna. Practice and detachment, what are called abhyasa and
vairaghyam. These twin wings of yoga are like a life saver. We hold focus on
what we want and discard that which we don’t. When we drive a car to
Albuquerque, we don’t drive the car to Chicago or anywhere else. It’s that
simple. Not complicated really.
But
you have to really feel this movement inside you. Don’t get confused by
objective mind. The answer isn’t found in the objective mode of mind. The
answer is felt deep in the instrumental layer. It is vital to understand the
difference of these two modes. If you don’t understand this, you will be
confused, without a doubt. If you start to understand on an intimate level this
movement, you will understand mudra.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Another Question/Comment on Sri Vidya Post
I got this question/comment in by email about a week or more ago and have had to sit with it before commenting. I find it great that so many of you are coming up with very deep responses to some of my posts. Comments and questions are always welcome and can be made to vasistha@hotmail.com.
"One of
the things I find so attractive about Tantra is the absolute freedom it offers,
or more accurately, I think, the absolute freedom it points to, the absolute
freedom that we are born with.
It’s the
freedom that comes with being made up of the same substance that the rest of
the universe is made up of - divinity, consciousness, god, goddess, love,
whatever we call it. To me, Tantra is
the belief or world-view, the knowing,
that God is in our very cells. Goddess
is in all that we see, all that we touch, all that we eat, all that is… And therefore, the essence of it isn't
contradictory with any other beliefs I've had, and that is, to me, more evidence of how beautiful and true it is. For me, it doesn't even conflict with
Catholicism.
I
remember being taught that we are all part of the body of God. In Catholic school this meant being shown a
poster of Jesus' face that, when one got up close to it, saw that it was made
up of thousands of faces. I understood
this as a child to mean that the holy spirit dwells within each individual,
that Jesus is within and without. To me,
the essence of Tantra is the same. The
actual practices, and probably the results of Tantra, might be quite different,
but I think one could be a practicing Catholic and a Tantric believer.
This is
where my questions lie. I enjoy some of the Tantric practices I've been introduced
to a lot, and I'm so interested in learning more. I enjoyed the incense of the Catholic church
too… and communion, and scripture, and singing…
To me, there is perfect freedom in whatever one chooses as her sadhana. To say, that we must be fully-in, we must
commit 100% to anything, goes against my
very basic concept of what Tantra is. If
it is the acceptance that God is us, we are god, all is sacred, even the
completely mundane, then doesn't that make us free to take or leave whatever
feels right to us from any tradition? Because
no matter how we choose to engage, we are engaging with her.
Once we
have had the good fortune to come across such wisdom, such powerful tradition,
it is it "wrong" to not dive-in fully? And what does dive-in fully really look like? Is that different for each individual? If we accept God to be in every atom of every
universe, then does that make every moment of our life sadhana? Is Tantra actually a path or is it a way of
seeing the world? If it is a path, where
is it going? How can we be going
anywhere if we are already living God on earth, within our bodies, if she is
who we are? Where are we going? If we are always connected, always divine,
why do we spend so much time trying to connect with the divine? How do we define success when it comes to
sadhana?
I know
that somewhere in all my questions, my answers lie.
I feel incredibly blessed to have met Sri Amritananda, and to have been
taken under his wing during my stay in India.
He and I understood each other on some levels. He understood how foreign all of this is to
me. He also understood what it is about
the tradition that compels me, and he always assured me that worthiness is my
birthright. He taught me that I must
embrace the Goddess within me, and that to do otherwise, is foolish. He taught me that merely by being completely
natural, I am okay, I am divine. He
also seemed to be saying that having fun is of utmost importance because he
never missed an opportunity to giggle.
Thanks
for making my wheels turn with your writing.
Sometimes the technicalities of it all make me feel a little dumb, or a
little slow, or a little lazy, but then I remember who I am."
Thanks for your questions which make me think even more deeply about matters. Just now getting back to your question. In some ways I already answered
something similar to another question on my blog but your question is
also a bit different.
"If it is a path, where is it going? How can we be going anywhere if we are already living God on earth, within our bodies, if she is who we are? Where are we going?"
These are good questions. In some ways I suppose our "path" is very dreamlike. I don't ultimately have the answers to these questions beyond what drives us (or at least me) inside. I know for me that I just feel driven a lot of the time, with insatiable curiosity. This world is so big, so vast that I feel compelled to understand it on some, on any level. There are many answers but so many of them fail to comprehend to truly understand our magnitude.
When I speak of faith in my blog it is the deep faith that fuels one's self forward. Not so much as in a right or wrong faith but the personal faith that carries one foot in front of the other. I find personally that without it, I fall prey to conflicting ideas or passing movements and then end up muddled or confused. So in other words, I was mainly speaking in the previous article (on Sri Vidya) about how to inspire movement, how to "supercharge" it, in a way that overcomes the inertia of conditioned and collective consensus reality. Consensus reality can become so deeply ingrained that it acts as a limit to our true nature. I believe faith, personal deep faith that gives rise to conviction, can help to overcome the walls of this inertia. Even if this inertia itself is the play of the Goddess, I still feel that to lie down and let go with it is not in our nature either. Our nature is to move forward, to evolve, even if this evolution is all a dream in the grand scheme of things.
"If it is a path, where is it going? How can we be going anywhere if we are already living God on earth, within our bodies, if she is who we are? Where are we going?"
These are good questions. In some ways I suppose our "path" is very dreamlike. I don't ultimately have the answers to these questions beyond what drives us (or at least me) inside. I know for me that I just feel driven a lot of the time, with insatiable curiosity. This world is so big, so vast that I feel compelled to understand it on some, on any level. There are many answers but so many of them fail to comprehend to truly understand our magnitude.
When I speak of faith in my blog it is the deep faith that fuels one's self forward. Not so much as in a right or wrong faith but the personal faith that carries one foot in front of the other. I find personally that without it, I fall prey to conflicting ideas or passing movements and then end up muddled or confused. So in other words, I was mainly speaking in the previous article (on Sri Vidya) about how to inspire movement, how to "supercharge" it, in a way that overcomes the inertia of conditioned and collective consensus reality. Consensus reality can become so deeply ingrained that it acts as a limit to our true nature. I believe faith, personal deep faith that gives rise to conviction, can help to overcome the walls of this inertia. Even if this inertia itself is the play of the Goddess, I still feel that to lie down and let go with it is not in our nature either. Our nature is to move forward, to evolve, even if this evolution is all a dream in the grand scheme of things.
With deep conviction that comes out
of that personal faith I find myself propelled into new arenas, new
areas of life and exploration. Life is ever moving. Sometimes I feel
that it is the God/dess herself expanding and evolving. And perhaps it
is all coming from a place much bigger than myself. And hopefully I will continue to have "fun" in the process!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Questions on Physics and Sri Vidya Posts
Some very interesting questions came to me today regarding the last 2 posts.
Questions:
Questions:
1. The physics bit was very interesting and instructive. I liked
it a lot. But a question you never answered is why it is good to let
the energy/force run up through your bones and spine. I of course have
some answers to that question, but I think it would be good for you to
speak to why this is important. Does that make sense? Might seem
really obvious to you, but might not be to everyone.
2.
Re the tantra entry. I've always had a problem with faith. Not that I
don't have faith, but more, what is faith and what do you really mean
by it. There is a way that I do believe wholly in the forces that
govern the world, us, our lives. And there is a way that I feel I am
one with them. The latter is not a matter of faith. If the human body
is indeed a sri yantra and when we interact with these forces in our
practice, we also interact with these parts of ourselves, then where is
'faith' in that? I look at Ganapati and Laksmi and Lalita on my altar
and feel both reverent and on par with them at the same time. I
recognize and surrender to those forces which are bigger than 'I' but at
my core, I know I am also their equal, that we are the same. There are
times when I don't know if this is hubris or recognition. The small,
human part of me looks at them as beings other than myself, and I ask
them for help and guidance. Another part of me looks at them as old
friends and what I feel is not faith as much as recognition or something
harder to define.
Answers:
1. I meant to answer this in a later post and will have an entire article on bone strength. Basically the short answer to this is that stresses on bone will increase its strength. So from a purely physical basis we are in fact strengthening the bones with this type of bone force work. I will explain this in more detail later. Blood quality is also increased as the bones, which are responsible for blood production, are stimulated. Different energetic centers that exist within the bones are also affected. The subjective feeling which we feel through the bone I call "energy". The working of the bones in this way acts to store chi or prana in the bones which can actually be felt as one increases in sensitivity. This work really requires deep instrumental level awareness to notice this.
2. What I mean by faith is that which strengthens belief, creating a world view which becomes solid and thus has the power to direct the mind in a particular direction. Faith to me is a deep orientation of one's self that serves as a foundation for belief/view, that acts as a sort of "armor" to protect against opposing views that might arise from one's own potentially contrary belief systems due to the nature of the multiple egos (see my other articles regarding my thoughts on how the ego is actually many). Why is belief or view powerful? Because it is the mind which creates the subjective world view, which in turn can affect powerfully the world at large. So our beliefs actually become very important if we have any hope of creating effective movement in this world. Faith acts to strengthen that belief, which is why it is important even before faith to cultivate pure discrimination. Otherwise our deep faith leads to potentially disastrous consequences (ex. fundamentalism and acts of religious oppression/aggression). Once decided, consistency brings movement leading to success in the given area of application. Without this we potentially fall prey to indecisiveness and the inability to affect forward movement. This is a purely subjective phenomena I am discussing here, which is why I also stated that it was vital not to criticize others beliefs. More important than the beliefs themselves, which are relative, is the power behind the beliefs, which I am describing here as faith. We are not talking about objective faith which would be attempting to hold to some objective "truth". It is more an inner act of strengthening which helps to sharpen will and personal movement. I feel this is vital to understand for success in deep spiritual sadhana.
Hope these answers clarify. Questions and opinions are always welcomed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)